I recently watched a video in which a woman was excited to make a new friend, until she discovered that the friend put up a yard sign she strongly disagreed with.
She soon began to cross the street to avoid making contact with the former friend. And in doing so, she betrayed her own moral belief system. Click play on this short video to hear the whole story.
Ready for more?
As a Black woman, due to racist rhetoric associated with certain candidates, I am very cautious when I see those candidates signs in my neighborhood. It doesn’t mean I won’t help if there is a problem or I won’t speak and exchange pleasantries if we see each other, or call the fire department and make sure everyone is ok, but I’m going to be very aware of who and what they support and know that I might need to protect my peace and maybe in extreme situations my life.
I hear ya. I have had this feeling towards a certain candidate based on myself being a parents of an LGBTQ child. I have to stop myself from making that assumption that this particular person automatically hates my child because they have “so and so’s” sign in their yard or in their car. I really am trying to give the benefit of the doubt but I can’t help but notice my body’s reaction to these signs and what I think right away. I am so sorry that in the year 2024, you and I are facing these realities.
I totally get that! I’m sorry that is still happening in 2024. I stand with you!
I completely understand and agree with you.
Completely understand and agree! This is a very difficult situation
This is so legitimate. Even though I am not Black myself, I really have a problem with anyone who espouses policies that harm Black folks (or other minority and minoritized groups). I really think that "love thy neighbor" doesn't mean "have strong feelings of warmth for your neighbor" but "be kind to your neighbor". I'm in the privileged position to be able to engage safely with people who endorse candidates who I consider to be immoral actors, but if that engagement isn't going anywhere, I can choose to be kind without being a friend.
Legitimate question - how is this any different than looking at skin color and assuming everything about that person?
I know it is human reaction and I am very guilty of having done this in the past (re: political signs). But I've realized I took it too far and actively trying to connect, learn, and grow with all people across my community.
When I was growing up, there was a common phrase -- "when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me." Isn't that what we are doing here?
Because the reality is that this same argument can be made for each spectrum of political signs and then the outcome is again just echo chambers and disconnections.
Because skin color doesn't denote specific policy positions, and candidate signs do.
I absolutely see where you are coming from but we are rounding another era in history where people ARE assuming political thoughts, feelings, etc based upon skin color / identities -- arabs, muslims, jews are a great example of this happening right now. You can also make arguments for this on all skin colors and races.
I don't agree with this, I actively do not want this to happen, but it is. And we have to own that we can be a part of the solution or a part of the problem. And that starts with talking to people.
You absolutely don't have to like everyone, but that should be determined based upon getting to know them. And with my neighbors, I actively try and get to know all of them and have enjoyed it.
For me it's caution. I want to be sure that household isn't going to chase me down when I'm on my walk or shoot my friends if they knock on the wrong door. I'm not saying I'm not going to be a good neighbor, but I have to be cautious if someone aligns themselves with racist rhetoric.
I believe the crux of the concern is that political candidates are a choice whereas skin color, sexual orientation, etc. is not. So when a person actively chooses a candidate that aligns themselves with negative and dangerous rhetoric or action toward a minority group, that minority group must assume the person themselves also aligns with the dangerous/negative rhetoric and put space between themselves and that person for their own safety. It’s not a judgement on their character, it’s a judgement on their choices.
Not always. Especially this year our political choices have been so limited with extreme views on both sides. We may all not 100% agree with everything the person or party stands for but most choose one closest to our standards. Many of us would LOVE other choices but sadly it’s about money these days.
I hear you, but we're talking about political signs, not votes. A vote is an exercise in choosing the candidate that best aligns with the direction you'd like our government to take. Votes are personal and private.
A political sign is an endorsement that specifically does not allow for engagement in discussion or a nuanced position on policy, because it's basically a billboard that you advertise 24/7.
Do you feel that our modern-day focus on boundary-setting encourages this reaction? "I'm already limited on free time/energy and I'd rather direct it elsewhere." "I need to protect my own mental health from the negative impact their belief system has on me." "The policies they support actively hurt my loved ones so they don't deserve my compassion."
With an MS in psychology I am very much in favor of the modern push to improve how we perceive/manage mental health...AND, I get concerned about the pursuit of perfect boundaries -- taken to its logical conclusion, you end up with a world that's wholly self-centered, has hardly any relationships as broken boundaries result in separation, and permits minimal grace/patience for the messiness of the human condition.
Tbh I'd probably react exactly the same as this woman. But the cognitive dissonance is extremely overwhelming and so difficult to resolve.
I so resonate with what you’re saying. Boundaries ARE important. We don’t need to spend our whole day being berated by Uncle Bob, we should articulate where our boundaries are and enforce them. AND… I think the pursuit of perfect boundaries are contributing to the epidemic of loneliness. It’s actually GOOD for humans to learn to work and live people with whom they have disagreements. It helps us mature emotionally and intellectually.
I especially think we need to teach the younger generation how to “get along” with and communicate with people with different political, religious and social views. Sometimes it seems as if they feel they are “unsafe” just being around people who are different than them. I think that’s such a disservice to who we are as Americans.
I don’t think it’s actually an old vs young issue. I have plenty of people from the Boomer generation who’ve lost friendships over political beliefs. I think for so long it was taboo to discuss politics, but it’s become more normalized. I didn’t know where my great grandparents stood on political ideology until my great grandma was on her deathbed. It just wasn’t something she would talk about even with family.
My parents have bemoaned this phenomena as well: they're seeing their peers become radicalized (usually on Fox News and Facebook) and feel like they can't have a conversation with them because those friends just. keep. bringing. the topic back to the political issue that they most want to rant about. Aligning your political beliefs with your personal identity, such that a disagreement with your beliefs is a disagreement with who you are as a person, seems to have transcended any generational divide.
I so agree. We are struggling to be friends when disagreements exist. I am a GenXer and my adoptive kids are in their 30’s… they are all different and we disagree on a lot- but I am trying to model conversation, love, and finding what we do agree on.
In this scenario- I wonder what might have happened if she could have engaged her in a conversation about the sign- or even just ignore it and focus on the things they had in common. As I see it a political sign doesn’t encompass or challenge all of my moral beliefs- unless it was a big sign. :)
I liked what you stated about trying to set up perfect boundaries. In a world that is very imperfect the development of more nuanced ideas and approaches might need to be considered vs a straight black and white type of thinking/approach. Nuanced ideas can create subtle differences in how we critically think about a particular situation and possibly change the way we would approach a situation like Sharon described in this latest Preamble.
That being said, this is all just so hard to navigate and I would love to hear or share, within this group, some specific ways that people would handle this type of situation. Can you love your neighbor if you don’t completely trust the type of person they might be based on their political beliefs/ideology? How do we allow grace to exist within the messiness of human existence? What does it look like, sound like, and feel like? Maybe sharing some real life examples with each other might be beneficial.
Yes! You can love your neighbor (or relative), even if they are on the opposite side of the political (religious) spectrum. I have 2 friends that believe every word of the Bible literally. I question every word. One of them has the opposite guy’s sign in their yard. It helps if you already knew them and loved them before you find out. Remember when we didn’t know anything about each other’s religion/politics!?! But we agree to disagree, while loving all of the other things we have in common. Therefore, we do not love wholly and completely, and that’s ok. Same with my religious extremist cousin. We love our history of growing up together, and the good people we know each other to be. Most importantly, my father and I loved each other because I knew I had a choice: I could love the only (flawed) father I had, or I could have no father at all. And he recognized the same about me. All of that being said, I completely agree with Eunice Mullins (the first comment). None of these people are denying my humanity, nor threatening my existence. There are limits of acceptance/tolerance! ! I cannot love a hateful person, someone that I know says or does hateful things. I suspect Sharon also has limits. I cannot imagine she is advocating we embrace someone that burns crosses.
But here’s the final point. We have to really get to know the person first before we judge them. The person in the story only saw the sign, and drew the line there, without knowing all of the nuances behind it. Personally, when someone believes differently than me, I want to know why they hold those beliefs, and if maybe we have some common ground that we can build some form of a relationship. It doesn’t have to be BFFs or ostracism. There can be something in between.
Love this. I feel like I’m an advertisement for Braver Angels or Starts with Us.. but that is the exact philosophy behind both groups. We don’t have to agree on politics and the goal shouldn’t be to change a person’s mind on specific issues. It’s about getting to know people and understanding why they have the views they have. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and not assume they are a bad person just because they vote for someone who has policies I may disagree with. There are two candidates for President, neither are perfect and both have policies that some find offensive or scary to their way of life. That doesn’t mean that everyone who votes for them wants to hurt your loved ones or take away your way of life. It’s much more complicated than that.
I need to find out more about those organizations. Sounds like something I would like to be part of.
Google them. I’ve been involved in BA for over a year and even write columns about it for my local paper. It’s been a great way to meet people across the political spectrum and I’ve made many friends. I think Sharon is involved with Starts With Us
I disagree. I do not find racism to be merely a policy difference. For me, there are deal breakers.
I resonate with this so much. I would preach loving your neighbor all the time, and 2020 till now revealed how difficult that was for me. So many relationships were preserved because I loved friends and family since childhood and early adulthood.
I think Nedra Tawwab, who has written books on boundaries, does a really great job of talking about people with imperfections vs someone who does active harm.
I really love this observation about boundaries. I feel like this can a factor for some people, for sure.
I run a public library where love your neighbor is a super important organizational value as we try to create a public space that is truly welcoming to everyone. I can’t remember where I saw it, but I recently saw a quote something along the lines of “ division that begins nationally can begin to be healed locally.” Is that easy? No. Does it mean we’re naïve to the fact that some extreme political views are hostile the very existence of the public library? No. It’s only natural to want to pull back and protect ourselves. But only when we choose to move forward and find commonality first (reading!!!) do we have a chance to be excellent at what we do (literacy!!!!) and enjoy the goodwill of a diverse community.
Hooray for libraries and librarians! They are our role models. They will show us how to save ourselves.
I love this. I really feel that it’s gotta be a grassroots thing, one in one. Who was it that said “it’s hard to hate up close”? Was in Brene Brown? I have learned that this is so true.
I understand the message here. I do. I just know that if someone’s beliefs included supporting anyone or policies that are actively trying to take away my rights; I cannot and will not give them my trust. I just can’t. Will I help them if they asked for it. Yes. Would I chat on the street and exchange pleasantries, yes. Would I look out for their cat and feed it or watch their dog if they needed it. Absolutely. I just would not invite them into my fold. I can be and am a decent person but I will choose my friends.
I really do get it, but I also think there is a difference between loving your neighbor and trusting them. Does loving my neighbor mean I let a sex offender spend time with my kids? No. But that doesn’t mean my moral values don’t call for loving my neighbor, right?
You’re right! I guess in the context of that lady’s video there was a line between her not being able to be friends with them (which to me involves trust so I can understand) and crossing the street when they were in their driveway to avoid them. I found that bizarre and a bit much. Thanks so much for this. Love and trust is something I often mix up in life and I definitely pay for it, so learning to separate the 2 is so important. It is thought provoking indeed and we all need a little self reflection. ❤️
I completely agree with you. Do you not have to best friends with someone you just have to be a respectful and considerate neighbor. As a teacher, with lots of children, whose parents behave the same way and it makes my job a lot harder.
Agree! Also, we cannot preach inclusivity, and then immediately dismiss people who disagree. I am just thinking about how terrible that other woman must have felt when she realized she was being avoided. And all that probably did is confirm a feeling she might already have, a blanket feeling about "the other side," that they preach inclusivity but are quick to exclude.
One reason I believe in loving neighbors with whom we disagree is because I have been on the other side. My husband and I were raised in a very homophobic religion and community, and when we moved to the San Francisco area in 2005 our beliefs reflected those we had been taught. We were kind to queer folks when we met them, but when political conversations came up (as they did around Proposition 8), we held firm to our religion’s anti-LGBTQ policies. We had a handful of gay friends, and none of them cut us off. They continued to love us and spend time with us despite our differences, despite the fact that those differences threatened their very civil rights. It makes me cry every time I think of how hard those conversations must have been for them. Over time our hearts and minds changed and my husband and I are now staunch, vocal LGBTQ allies. I think often of Dr. King’s quote: “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” It’s humbling to have been on the other side, so I keep that in mind when I encounter people whose beliefs are repugnant to me.
This is why I’m not a fan of political yard signs (or bumper stickers) in general. They display one aspect of who you are. ONE. And there is no further explanation so those seeing the sign automatically assume you believe and align yourself to everything that candidate or party believes, when in fact, most people don’t agree 100% with “their party.” Putting out a yard sign can be very upsetting or triggering for people who vote for “the other side.” We’ve all felt that.. that’s why people steal or destroy political signs. That’s why people honk or yell at drivers with bumper stickers for candidates they dislike. Why people put themselves in this situation is beyond me. There are better ways to support a candidates than advertising in your front yard or on your car. Donate, volunteer, vote!
I agree that putting up yard signs/bumper stickers can bring out reactions. I also think we need to question those automatic reactions. We should be able to live in a world where people can put out yard signs and we still engage and interact with them, and not just on a superficial level. Even just, "Why did you put out that yard sign? Why do you care about this candidate? Do you have any criticism of this candidate?" And like Sharon says listening to understand.
Part of the divide is that we're isolating ourselves from those who think different and aren't engaging in conversations that may bring out those differences. I'm guilty of it for sure. But I've noticed that it also makes me inexperienced at talking about these topics and hearing things I may not agree with. It's like a muscle, and we're not using our political disagreement civility muscle and so it's atrophying.
I think this is really insightful, but I have the mindset that they don't actually 'think' and they're often following behind generations of certain beliefs, not willing to grow, change and evolve. I have a neighbor who I adore, and I know she's a great person, but her political views (to me) completely contradict the type of person she is at her core. They will inevitably put up a yard sign I disagree with any day now (if history has taught me anything), and I'd love to talk to her about it, and I can almost guarantee if I were to point out some of the policies that align with her candidate but go against her faith/Jesus' teachings, she would ultimately tie it back to abortion. IT feels like everything ties back to abortion.
I understand and agree. Especially the last 2 lines. However, here is an explanation of why I put a sign in my yard yesterday. Today is primary day in MO. The candidate I want to win SOS has to beat her opponents to proceed to the general election. Most people don’t know one SOS candidate from another, but if my neighbors see her name on the way to the polls, it might give her a small advantage. There are multiple reasons to display signs. Some are just identity politics. Like putting out your favorite team’s flag, or wearing a player’s shirt. I hope to influence an election by name recognition, at the least, and encouraging neighbors to learn about my candidate, at the most.
I agree that name recognition particularly in local races is important. I was mainly commenting on national elections. Particularly the presidential race.
I agree. I do not plan to put out a presidential sign. People already know which candidate they want in that race. And if they don’t, the best way to earn their vote is one on one. The most important things we can do is engage conversation, dispel misinformation, and make sure they get to the polls. No votes left behind!
It's about one presidential candidate in 2024 being so different from the norm. In 2012 for example, yard signs for Romney or Obama would not have had the same effect. Both were good moral people. They spoke respectfully of each other and of everyone. Sure they had policy differences but good friends could comfortably support opposite candidates. Today is completely different. One of the candidates says and does things that are morally unacceptable. Racism, sexual assault, making fun of the disabled. Neither Romney nor Obama would ever behave like that.
Very well said !
I feel like this is a relatively new phenomenon, likely thanks to social media. I worked as a political staffer in the past, have always had very firm political beliefs, and yet even when I worked in politics (I have long since left the field), some of my closest friends worked for "the other side". I love my friends for who they are, not who they vote for. It saddens me that the world has moved to a place where political beliefs lead to cutting people out.
I too work in a political-based role. It gives me a frontline perspective on the “sides” through behavior and how they represent their respective “side”. Sometimes you can’t unsee certain behaviors and it’s natural to paint the entire group with that broad brush. We’re human, after all. I would still help my neighbor with a trust but verify boundary on a personal level. I still don’t want toxicity in my sphere but it wouldn’t stop me from being a good neighbor.
Because this election I believe it is about the very real possibility of losing our democracy
I recently posted on our Facebook community city page a very bipartisan post reminding people to register to vote and vote in this election since our county has an extremely low voter turnout. I live in a gerrymandered NC rural community. While the post got a lot of shares and likes, it also had extreme arguments in the comments between both parties. There tends to be bullying in my town if you are on the “other” side. I wore my Principle over Party t-shirt to the local grocery store and a man walked up to me and said “So you think I don’t have any principles”. I smiled and said “sir I don’t know you” but was cautious later going to my car. I have had cousins yell at me and unfriend me on Facebook for sharing something they didn’t like that wasn’t aligned with their party. I think it is very sad the way our society has become over politics. It has fractured families and communities more than I have ever seen. I wish it was as simple as remembering there is no IF in “love thy neighbor”.
It says so much about that man who took your shirt as a negative comment about him. Why would he believe that people think a party has no principles? Obviously it would have been likely unsafe to ask that question but man oh man would I have wanted to ask him that. I'm sorry that you've lost people in your life over politics. Hopefully they will come back around with a more open heart.
I am so sorry for your losses.
This hit me hard Sharon. Because when a family put up a Trump sign in our neighborhood my shackles went up immediately. I am not friends with these people and don’t even know these people but I shamefully admit I now harbor judgement against them 😞
I don’t know the right answer here. But I believe that if someone is flying the flag of Trump or someone who promotes they are endorsed by Trump; there is deep seated hate brewing. And that scares me.
Sometimes it helps to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. How would you feel if someone hated or feared you simply because of who you voted for? You may thing “they don’t even know me and are making assumptions about me based on my political views.” I understand that there are strong feeling for and against candidates, but those feelings shouldn’t be projected onto everyone who votes for them. There are myriad of reasons people have different priorities and hence vote differently. Hope this helps.
I do think this is where it's important to point out that a private vote and a public lawn sign are two VERY different things. Placing a sign on your lawn (or a sticker on your car) is generally seen as a straightforward endorsement of a candidate, and it's a form of communication that by its nature does not allow for nuanced discussion. If I place a sign on my lawn then I understand that I am inviting some assumptions and I have to be okay with that, because my placement of a sign is not inviting my neighbors into discussion, it's just signaling my opinion.
Which is why I don’t do yard signs and bumper stickers.
Right, but Natalie (and Sharon) were talking about yard signs and flags.
People can assume what they want to assume. I don’t care. If someone is embarrassed to be lumped with a political party then that’s probably something they need to examine.
You are so right that people have different priorities. Some people are quite comfortable ignoring racist things a candidate says or does. Others cannot ignore those things. Different priorities. Each person has the right to cast their vote as they see fit. Putting up a yard sign for a racist invites the neighbors to draw their own conclusions, as is their right.
Agree! We are all quick to judge someone’s entire character because of who they support politically. Without having any idea of what that person’s actual beliefs are.
I'm so sad that this is where we are as a country. We moved into a new home in 2020 and we fly an American flag (our son is in the Navy). We have struggled to even be acknowledged by neighbors, is it our American flag? We live in Minnesota, the land of nice people...but this neighborhood has not been. The flag is a sign that we love our country and has been made into a negative. This is beyond sad.
I am a Democrat in California and I fly the American flag because I have family in the military, and I love my country.
Thank your son for his service. My dad was a Navy veteran. If makes me sad that somehow our nation’s flag is offensive. I know we are not a perfect nation (show me one that is) but we are all American’s and our flag is simply that, our flag. I proudly display a flag on my front porch on Memorial Day, Veteran’s day and the Fourth of July. I’ve never had anyone complain.
Our nation's flag is not offensive. That claim plays into the regrettable divisions in our country right now. I live in Blue Massachusetts and the flag is everywhere.
Yikes. Could my American flag flying on the front of my house (even illuminated at night) be signifying to my neighbors something political???? I’ve lived here a year and only ONE has responded to my gestures of friendship. Which political side am I inadvertently promoting?
I live in a conservative area where many American flags are accompanied by an “F” Biden flag or a Trump flag of some kind. I am angry when I think about how my country’s flag has been hijacked by one political party. I loved flying the flag especially after 9/11 and felt like I had lost that. So I was determined to fly it again and balanced my American flag with a pride flag flown next to it. I hope this is sending the message that I lean heavily into the part of the pledge that says …with liberty and justice for all.
I'm not sure where you live, but around here whenever you see a truck or motorcycle drive by with an American flag - or multiple flags - streaming behind it there is always only *one* political party their bumper stickers are endorsing...and it's usually not the moderate side of that party (eg, "This Truck Runs on Liberal Tears").
I truly believe that no 'side' owns patriotism or the flag: those ideas and symbols belong to all Americans. But I will also say that my dad, who is a conservative-leaning Independent, has questioned whether or not he wants to put up an American flag because he doesn't want any of the neighbors to think he's "making a partisan statement." As Sharon is saying, the best thing we can do is try to get to know our neighbors and NOT jump to conclusions based on assumptions, but it is hard to know if we might also be on the receiving end of those assumptions.
Thank you Emily. How sad. My dad always flew the flag and I’ve carried on that tradition. But now it means something else. 😔 I live in West Virginia.
I, personally, am glad you fly the American flag. I hope that we can make the flag "our" symbol again, and by "our" I mean all of us in the USA. Maybe this is a small part of redeeming a symbol that's been coopted.
Yes! Thank you Johnathon.
No. The flag is loved by everyone. I live in Blue Massachusetts and flags are everywhere.
Truly sad...I feel you.
Please thank your son for his service.
The flag is loved and honored from coast to coast in red states and blue states. No particular political affiliation can claim the flag. And service members come from every state, too.
What a shame! But, I can also say that friends alienated me because of my vote for HRC and then Biden because I was now a libtard - ugh, I hate that word, and a RINO. Social media has something to do with the unmasking of latent bigotry and racism and hate. I hope we can begin to heal soon because the divide feels stronger than ever.
Yes! Some candidates have normalized bigotry/racism/hatred!
However, it was always there. Now the bigots/racists/haters are empowered to show their true selves. I know because that’s exactly what my dad said when he saw one of them speak for the first time, he said, “he’s saying out loud what I have always thought.”
You need to start getting in the pulpit on Sundays! I know a LOT of Christians that need to hear this! We ALL need to hear this. Mic drop Sharon! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
If it was 1968 and I planned to vote for Hubert Humphrey, and my neighbor put up a Nixon sign, I don't think I'd have a strong reaction. If they put up a George Wallace sign (famous for his 1963 speech which contained "and I say . . . segregation today . . . segregation tomorrow . . . segregation forever"), well I probably wouldn't cross the street to avoid walking by their house. But I also wouldn't talk to them again. A lot of political difference can, and should, be tolerated. But there are limits. Maybe my hypothetical neighbor likes Wallace for his economic policy, not his racism, but the fact that they would hold their nose and vote for him anyway makes me not want to have them at my backyard BBQ.
I would have the same reaction, which is why I admire Shirley Chisholm so much!
I absolutely agree. We can’t tolerate that level of intolerance.
I hear what you’re saying Sharon but I’m also aware of the paradox of intolerance. I’m all for loving my neighbor until that neighbor supports an idiology that says my trans kid is a scourge upon this nation and is better off dead. Sorry but no. I will not allow those people into my life. I will not welcome them into my home. I have to draw the line somewhere. Even Jesus knew when to flip tables and pull out the whip.
I see you. I am you. And, I agree. Sometimes I feel like the calls for "tolerance" are so misdirected.
But you don’t know if that person has beliefs against trans people at all, or whether knowing a trans person could change their minds. And I think that’s the point…getting to know the people instead of closing off the possibility. Spoken also as a mom of a trans kid. I draw the line when I actually see hateful behavior or hear hateful words, not by just imagining it’s there. But I do understand everyone’s boundaries are different.
If you don’t want to be mistaken for someone who hates trans people, don’t associate yourself with groups that openly hate trans people. The responsibility isn’t mine to sus that out. It IS my responsibility to protect my kid.
Is there a difference between loving your neighbor and inviting them over for a BBQ? I have people in my life that I unfortunately do not get together with nearly as often due to strong political stands they have taken in our community. However, I am always kind. I would never snub them in public, bad mouth them on social media, etc. But do I want to continue to spend a lot free time and weekends with them? No. I look it as a season of our friendship. I have also backed away from friendships in the past due to their involvement in MLMs. Am I still nice to them? Yes. I realize the situation here is different in that this friendship never truly got off the ground. I think crossing the street is too extreme - you can continue to be nice! It's possible that even if the couples had the same political beliefs they still may not have hit if off as great friends. I think kindness is the key. You should be nice to everybody. You don't have to have everybody over for a BBQ.
I think there is. Loving your neighbor doesn’t even mean “being best buddies.” But most moral and faith traditions define what loving your neighbor looks like. Again, there a variety of words used, but they often involve concepts like patience, kindness, not being quick to anger, not being jealous or full of pride, etc.
You can love your neighbor and still choose not to be friends. It doesn’t mean in a time of need, that person wouldn’t try to help them out.
My husband and I recently moved to a new neighborhood and met one of our neighbors on a walk recently. She kindly welcomed us to the neighborhood and asked us where we were from. When we told her she responded with “I hope you left that blue sh*t back there.” Both of us were too shocked to respond. The woman then awkwardly laughed and said something along the lines of just kidding. I will admit I do avoid her on walks now.
This makes me sad. I’m a lifelong Tennessean and it’s super common for locals to say “Don’t California my Tennessee” when people move here from “liberal” states. I hate the words, I hate the attitude (as if TN has it all together?!), and the unfriendliness of it. I don’t blame you for being cautious around them now :(
Having moved from a blue state to Arizona, I see that a lot, too. I just never in my life have thought to ask someone their political beliefs upon first meeting them, and especially not in such a hostile way. Not to say I’m not open to political discussion because I very much am, I just haven’t though “if you’re a Republican I have no interest in getting to know you nor do I want you in my neighborhood.”
I can see many sides to this conversation. And the thing I keep coming back to is how for some people, especially historically oppressed groups, it can literally be life and death, not just a political belief. For a black person in this country, do they have the luxury to trust and give the benefit of the doubt? I imagine that's hard to do, given our history. For a pregnant women in a state with total abortion bans, does she sit quietly while her life and her own health may be on the line? I'm struggling so much between my desire to build bridges and my desire to face the stark differences and real impacts to peoples lives.
Ok but for example there are black people voting on both political sides. I think the danger is making extreme assumptions that one side is only for black people, LGBTQ people… the other side is only for racists, etc. Those are extreme assumptions that are not fully true and do not reflect the views of the majority of people voting. People have a lot of different reasons for voting on one side vs another and that doesn’t mean they support everything that candidate represents. I find most people are much more moderate than the candidates they vote for or political rhetoric surrounding them. Just some thoughts.
I see a stark difference between the vision for America between Trump/Vance and Harris/Walz. Moderates are going to have to choose which vision they want to live in. And Trump/Vance represents going back to a time when being black in this country was (and is) often a matter of life and death based on hundreds of years of systemic racism, when women didn't have much power or control over their own lives. I'm not talking about the demographics of the voter. I'm talking about understanding the very real impacts of your vote.
I see what you’re saying but I think it’s an extreme assumption about what will happen under either candidate and a lot of people voting don’t feel that way.
I think it's fair to say that we don't know what will happen, and that people take multiple considerations into account when selecting a candidate. That said, I also think it's fair to make some assumptions about what will happen under each administration, because we've already had the opportunity to see what policies each candidate advanced when they were previously part of a presidential administration. I would encourage anyone voting (and I think that means everyone who can!) to use the past as a guide in this case.
Yes I totally agree. I’m just saying that people who are choosing to vote for a certain candidate and probably not assuming what a person voting for the opposite candidate is about them. Does that make sense? I’m saying we should try to see things from the other person’s perspective rather than demonizing them based on your own assumptions.
Sure, that makes sense. I know people who vote for a candidate I really dislike, and I know they are motivated by their experience with a different political regime in another country. I respect that even though I don't agree with them at all.
I was just with a group of women over the weekend I went to grade school and most High School with. One of the gals while we were watching the Olympics kept pointing out if an athlete had something wrong with their looks and I kept calling her out on it as I feel that's pretty middle school behavior. She is also critical of herself. When I was talking about how females come in all types of bodies and mentioning the Algeria boxer being accused of being a man and how horribly mean it was of people I brought a photo up on my phone to show her. She said, are you sure this isn't a man? I'm like no it's not and in fact it's illegal where she comes from to be Trans or LBBGTIA. She was like well I have nothing against trans people but I am a biological women and they are not and shouldn't complete against women. I said trans women are women. She said we'll have to agree to disagree on this. That's when I left. I plan on trying to have a conversation with her and she is she is open to learning why this is so harmful. She told a friend who was hosting after I left that she means no disrespect to my family, I have a trans niece but this is just how she feels. I told my friend that I will not come hang out next summer if she comes and still feels this way as I feel it's the same if she was openly racist and calling the Olympians the N word. I was so disappointed.
You give a good example of the tension between protecting your peace, refusing to tolerate immorality and changing things for the better. For your friend, being so dramatically cut off and shunned (you left during the discussion and will not be in her presence next summer) will likely not only deepen her belief but add redirected pain and anger. However, you would not want your presence to legitimize her beliefs or validate any isolation by someone who sees you together and believes you agree with her. It’s a difficult situation.
I think a lot comes down to what you are able to tolerate. The advantage of being friends is that you are present to disagree and be a check on those beliefs in a group. You might be the voice for someone afraid to speak up. Also, your stories may eventually allow her to reevaluate her beliefs.
Of course, you also have to evaluate how much you enjoy her presence outside of this as working to maintain a friendship to change someone’s beliefs is insincere and manipulative, so it would be “can you be friends despite a, b, etc.”.
If you could be friends otherwise except that every time you see her you are angry and depressed regardless of the conversation, you need to protect your peace. Borrowing from Eunice above, you would also need to consider if disagreement could lead to danger, create a harmful reputation for you (speak out here, lose your job there) or expose vulnerable people to damage. Obviously you might not invite this friend to a family gathering where her comments will cause pain.
This is such an important point, and echoes something that Marie Beecham (antiracism educator) has pointed out: Black people don't need White people to excommunicate the anti-Black racists in their lives, they need White people to do the hard work of talking with and educating them. Cutting them off might feel "right" but it doesn't do anything to meaningfully mitigate their harmful beliefs, and in fact might just leave Black people more isolated in those situations.
I did say that I will reach out to try and have a conversation with her about it. I was so pissed at the moment I had to leave as I was heading home for the night and it was late anyhow. I want to be able to talk to her when I am not angry and hear her out then decide if I want to spend time with her next summer or not. It's a yearly gathering so not that I see her all the time.
To be honest, what you said is also very harmful. Many people feel that way. It doesn't mean she doesn't support trans, but she has every right to feel the way she does about biological males in female sports. Also, there is A LOT of information on those two athletes and the results might not be what you want.
But it goes both ways. If you can't try and understand a different position then you are no better than she (or maybe she is willing to have a real respectful conversation and you aren't...).
And no, I whole heartedly disagree that this is equivalent to calling a black person the N word. That is based upon pure hate. Her argument is based upon logic, questioning, the human body, drugs, and more.
I have lived in states, my entire adult life, that typically vote majority one way. And it’s why I’ve never discussed who I vote for or had signage in my yard. I also feared my neighbors finding out that I’ve attended rallies and events that were covered by the news. I can imagine a world in which these people have been burned before by this happening. Political differences have torn those friendships apart. Not every situation is going to be the same but it can be hard when your lived experience tells you to be careful. I still am friendly with my neighbors but in general, especially when they are vocal about their candidate, avoid political conversations when possible.
I to don’t talk about politics in general with my neighbors and I don’t put you yard signs because I know most of my neighbors are on the other side of the political spectrum and but we are all gracious to each other, we talk about our pets, the weather or how bad our dirt roads have become but never political discussions.
I think that the conversations about what is "love" when it comes to a neighbor are spot on. There is a house on my street flying the Don't Tread On Me, Let's Go Brandon!, and Trump flags. If I knew these people needed help in an emergency I would definitely help. I would say hi as I walked by. I believe they have the right to choose their political candidates and have their own values, even if they are different than mine. However as the mother of a gay non-binary person, I also know that based on their chosen political rhetoric - they espouse ideas and actions that can have a very direct and very dangerous effect on my family's health and well-being. I would say that this is a very nuanced situation, and people of color like Eunice, people with gay/trans family members like me as well as Jennifer with the trans niece, are paying a much higher price for the idea of "loving" a neighbor no matter what. There is definitely some privilege involved here. I also believe that when someone tells you who they are, believe them. The first time.
PS I would like to send some love to Shannon, who said she was here to listen and learn. Thank you!
(Me peeking through the bushes)…this is truly heartbreaking. Social media and main stream media have played such a huge role in demonizing particular candidates. It’s maddening. Some of the comments here are also truly heartbreaking. Just because someone votes or supports a particular candidate does not mean they have hate in them?! What in the world?? I am a conservative Christian woman and sadly, even typing those words gives me fear of judgements, hate and alienation in this space.😔😣Everything Sharon said rings true to everything I’ve been taught aside from the fact that it’s just common decency to love your neighbor. How can I, knowing what I believe treat someone different simply because of who they choose to vote for? That just doesn’t make sense to me. It’s heartbreaking. My moral belief system goes against it. Who I am goes against it. And then on the flip side, how can someone who aligns so heavily with inclusivity of everyone exclude another because they believe differently? That just doesn’t make sense either. I said it earlier but it’s. Just. So. Heartbreaking. The story Sharon shared is heartbreaking! I joined this space knowing that I am in the minority so that I could learn and grow from others and love better. It is helping. But also some of the things I read are truly saddening. Please, p l e a s e do not alienate, judge, or ostracize someone based on who they vote for…
Hi, former conservative Christian here 👋🏻 I get where you are coming from because I lived it for the majority of my life.
Many of the comments you mention likely come from fear and anger. And I think it’s legitimate when you look at conservative politicians who are actively harming certain communities and the women who are being harmed due to vague laws surrounding abortion bans.
It’s tough. You have your belief system, the question is are people supposed to be okay when you actively vote so that they can’t safely live theirs?
I really don’t think you get where I’m coming from at all. I’m not here to debate in this space.
Not here to debate either. Simply trying to give you a different perspective to look from. I was a Christian conservative until my mid 30’s. So I’ve looked at things from a more liberal perspective for maybe 6 years and that was actually a long journey.
For what it’s worth, I don’t believe in alienating people that vote differently than me. Also, a process. One that Sharon helped with. People who lean in are the only way we can have fruitful conversations. But as a straight white woman, there is no harm for me to stand in that gap. It’s the least I can do for the people who put themselves out there who leaned in to me and helped me think outside of the box my experiences had place me in.
I’m not judging you, I certainly don’t hate you, and it is not my intention to alienate you.
We need different perspectives or else it’s just an echo chamber.
For some people they’ve been shown through actions that people do have hate in them. And it becomes very difficult to maintain friendships once that happens. I’ve also been judged and called awful names for who I vote for. It goes both ways.
Exactly. It’s why I said please don’t judge someone or hate someone for who they vote for.
I completely understand. My nephew who is Jewish has lost friends just because he’s Jewish. He is in his 20s and has no political opinion.
Is this recent? Why did he lose the friends? I'm Jewish too so I'm concerned and interested to know.
He is young and goes to a college that has had a lot of protests. My other nephew who is out of college is not experiencing the same problem.
I appreciate this comment section and the reminder that caring for your neighbor doesn’t mean you need to be best friends. I live in a state that (as a whole) does not align with my personal political affiliations. However, I’ve found joy and comfort and community with the people who live on my street.
I struggle with a deeper nuance here though. I’m a part of a minority that my neighbors may not “agree with.” There is a bit of privilege from your perspective. I have genuine fear for my safety and my family’s safety in our town/state at large. Although we have community with our immediate neighbors and our kids play together and we share eggs and milk, there are parts of my family/family life we have to be quieter about. I’m curious to hear other people’s thoughts on this—- I don’t think it’s all or nothing. We don’t have to hate each other and we don’t have to be best friends. But how far can “love your neighbor” take us if we aren’t able to be our genuine selves in our own communities? I feel like there is some Brene Brown quote about vulnerability to be said here. I just can’t put my finger on it.
Of course you are right. There are times when healthy boundary become necessary.
I agree overall. A simple political sign is fine. But as some others have said, some of these signs are either vaguely or outright threatening.
I have a neighbor who is hanging a giant flag from his carport that says “F— Joe Biden and f—- you for voting for him.” There are lots of kids in the neighborhood so I find this disgusting. And yes, I am judging his intentions and motives.
If he needed help I would offer, but someone with that kind of giant flag is advertising that they a) don’t want to engage with those who think differently; or b) would be hostile to anyone who thinks differently.
Wow is that a normal political sign nowadays?! I would be a little scared of them 😬
It is sadly. And I know it comes from everyone, I happen to live in an area where one is more predominent. I have seen multiple cars (this started closer to 2020) with F Joe and the H@@ stickers on their cars. Definitely gives quite the first impression!
Yeah in that kind of case I think a sign is a deterrent! You’re basically stating that you are angry and don’t want to be around anyone who thinks differently.
For me, it’s about boundaries and how I want to spend my time. There’s a difference between being a friendly neighbor and being friends with your neighbor. I would be friendly to her, but I won’t be the dependable friend to someone whose morals oppose everything I stand for, including giving people a leg up when they’re in need.
SHARON! Stop being so rational and correct all the time! LOL. But seriously, thank you for this. I’m a Christ follower and of course I believe that Christ calls us to love our neighbor as ourselves and He definitely does not say “if”. And I’m guilty of seeing political signs and assuming I know all there is to know about the people living beyond that sign in their home. I’m guilty of decided those people are my enemy. It’s extremely difficult to make myself see beyond the sign because of what the people who are named on the sign represent for our country, for Christianity itself, for myself as a woman, and yes, my moral beliefs. But like you pointed out, I’m betraying my own moral beliefs by making people I do not know my enemy because of their political affiliations. It’s not right. I feel convicted by your words. Thank you.
I sympathize and identify with the woman in the story, because the relationship involves their children. Assuming the yard sign is for a far-right candidate or idea, for example, I would hesitate to allow my children to have play dates in that home. Would they hear racist or antisemitic comments? Anti-immigrant or homophobic remarks? Are there guns in the home? I would be cordial and neighborly because those are my values, but the sign is a red flag to learn a lot more before allowing my children to spend time around those parents.
Do you know any Republicans? It seems as if you are making a lot of presumptions about their beliefs.. None of my republican friends behave that way just as none of my democrat freinds do some the extreme things that the “far left” are known for. I guess what I’m saying is that you may have a preconceived notion of a group of people based on what you hear or read in the media. It really helps to get our know people who vote differently and have civil discussions. Regarding guns, I know people on both sides who have them and don’t have them. It helps not to paint with a broad brush and I mean that in a kind way.
Of course I know people from a variety of backgrounds. I did not say a Republican sign would be a red flag. I said "a far-right candidate or idea." I said I would want more information before allowing my child to spend time around those parents, to be sure they would not be exposed to hateful views such as those publicly espoused by the candidate or organization. The yard sign would be a signal to me to gather more information. I think that's just responsible parenting.
I agree, and I say this as someone who grew up in a fairly exclusively-Republican childhood because I was in those homes and heard those comments. I would take publicly endorsing ANY specific candidate or specific policies as a point of information to consider.
We probably should be learning a good deal about people before allowing our kids into any person’s home in general, regardless of political ideas. As an example, we lean left but we’re also military. In a civilian setting, (which we are in currently) I would hope my neighbors, knowing we are military, would take that info in and learn about whether or not we have guns in our home. Not bc of stereotyping but bc it’s a normal assumption to make and you can never be too safe.
I think the difference here is that the woman in the story did not lean into learning more about a very real potential friend, she ended all communication with the woman instead. She could have drawn closer *because* of their differences to learn more about the woman and how she came to have the beliefs she has, and they could’ve poured into each other’s lives, differences and all. I get that it’s hard and I admitted earlier to having fallen prey to judging my neighbors for their signs. But it sounds like this woman was on her way to making a friend and now it’s just over.
You are so right. I have family who are military and also law enforcement.
Sharon, thank you for this. It is very thought provoking. What has happened to cause otherwise kind, friendly, caring, people to be selective about who they show love to? I’ve never thought of myself as being this way. But am I? AND Just last night a good friend told me about an argument that ended a long friendship which she had had. What was the issue? Political differences expressed in disrespectful, judgmental and accusatory ways. I was shocked. I know and love both of these families. How does this happen? I believe it is modeled to us using FEAR tactics ad nauseum on the news, social media, and especially during political debates. Our founding fathers are surely rolling over in their graves with sorrow. We must do better. How? Perfect LOVE casteth out fear. Yes we must follow that second commandment to “LOVE THY NEIGHBOR AS THY SELF”.
Thank you Sharon for continuing to give us all HOPE.
Our sermon this week was enlightening about politics. Wanted to share for anyone interested. https://traderspointcc.subspla.sh/5p43g37
Holly I just listened to the sermon you posted. So so comforting. All of our anxiety about the elections is really a lack of faith. We can focus on that (our faith in God) instead of the fear being used to promote political agendas (or rather discredit the opposing viewpoints.) I sent it to all my family and friends. End of discussion. ❤️
Because I believe in “loving thy neighbor as thyself,” is precisely why I cannot wrap my mind around the “both sides” arguments about our current political climate. The policies of one of the sides literally dehumanizes most people (women, people of color, LGBTQIA, etc.); i.e., they completely efface “The Golden Rule.” This is not “just business.” As others have stated, it about much more than a difference of opinion about fiscal policy, but whether or not some of us have the right to exist.
Do you realize that same side you are referring to that dehumanizes women, people of color, LGBTQ+ also has voters that are women, People of color, and LGBTQ+?
Two things can be true. It's important to understand each other's perspectives, and understand what motivates our individual political choices. People can and do vote against their own self-interests, in every party, across time, and in multiple different countries: people can convince themselves that the bad outcomes will never happen to *them*.
So, for instance, I can feel very strongly that a policy is harmful to women and my feelings aren't going to be automatically cancelled out because other women might support that policy. I might be curious about their reasoning and seek to understand it, but the existence of their support doesn't mean I can't continue to feel differently.
Oh my heavens! Just don’t talk politics. Still go to the park. Still have barbecues. It’s that simple. Still be friends. If the subject comes up politely say let’s not talk politics. I’m so confused by this. I thought this country was founded on the right to be free to believe and think independently. We are made of a melting pot of different nationalities and religions. That’s ok! We respect the right of others to feel and believe differently and settle our differences peacefully at the the ballot box. Do not give up your friendships relationships over political candidates that will be gone in a few years.
I guess I feel so strongly about this because I live in a deeply red state and over the last decade I have found myself drifting to the left. I would basically have no friends if I refused to be friends with republicans. I know and respect my community just can’t support where my previous party has gone. They are still good people. We just disagree on politics. I still love my neighbors.
I’m seeing replies from parents or gay or trans kids and see that my reply was not taking how difficult their family lives would be in today’s political world and apologize if my answer was insensitive to that. I’m sure tolerance is difficult when Your own are being threatened or at least their rights.
Obviously I’m still a work in progress. Happy for these conversations to learn many sides
I don’t know the political affiliations of most of my neighbors but I’m also not friends with most of them. I say hi, I’d help them if they needed it, I am cordial etc. I also think it should be recognized that there are vulnerable people in our society who should absolutely steer clear of people with certain political beliefs. Some people have made it clear that they aren’t safe for some groups of people to be around. It still doesn’t mean the vulnerable person should go out of their way to hurt the unsafe person. But I 100% get why they would feel they can’t personally try to have a conversation with an unsafe neighbor.
This is truly such a hot topic. I have very close friends and family members on both sides of the political spectrum and I love them all. Just because they prefer a political candidate doesn't give me the right to judge their character. Plus, since I do know them, I have insight into understanding why they prefer one candidate over the other. These days it seems we are SEARCHING for ways to "cancel" people or to show that they have the WRONG opinion or belief system. Why? Why are we doing that? Just because someone likes candidate A or candidate B doesnt make them unworthy of friendships or love or community. Mental health is important. Absolutely. And please, I wish everyone would take the time they need to keep their emotional/mental state well... With that said, we are living in some wild times - everyone is triggered. We also need to remember that people grow and change. I am not the same person I was ten years ago and some of what I believe [politically] changed. People can change their minds and GROW - growth is learning. Our experiences in life dictate our opinions and everyone will have different things to say... and that's ok.
Depends on the sign. Something far-right? Yeah, I'm going to avoid that neighbor. I'll be polite. I'll wave. But I'm not going deeper. I think people don't realize that our conservative party here is MUCH further right than other conservative parties in the world. You want to disagree on fiscal policies, great. But they're dehumanizing various groups of people and trying to take their human/civil rights away. Completely different. And I definitely have a different perspective on this as someone with Eastern European heritage. Fascists from two countries persecuted our relatives (and are still doing so in Ukraine). Neighbors joined the invaders and persecuted them. And I would never expect Jews to be friends with their Nazi neighbors back in 1930s Germany. So, like I said, depends on the sign. I would absolutely not normalize fascism/the far-right by being friends with people with those beliefs.
Have you seen some of the crazy far right protests/attacks going on in Europe right now against immigrants? Like England, France etc? I live in Turkey and we had similar riots here. It seems like politics all over are becoming much more polarized and extreme. But I personally don’t feel that the majority of voters on either side are as far left or as far right as the candidates representing the parties or the rhetoric surrounding them. When I have discussions with people, most people tend to be more in the middle ground area. That’s why I think it’s important not to judge someone for who they vote for. It doesn’t mean they’re supporting everything that candidate stands for or even that they particularly like them.
If you're supporting a guy openly promising to send people to detention camps, you can be judged imo. We're so past a mere difference of opinion. If you are actually, truly, morally against detention camps, you do not put up a sign for that guy. I live next to one of these people, and I have watched him completely wreck his relationship with his opposite-views daughter over his worship of his candidate. Picking a wannabe dictator over your own kid is just horrible. I see others who have the same views openly talk about how they're training for "revolution" here. We're not disagreeing on fiscal policies. These people are planning violence and revenge. What about that candidate down in NC who said liberals need to be killed???
Sorry but I think you are making assumptions about everyone who votes red that are not true. I come from North Dakota and the majority of people there will always vote red because they have always tended to vote conservative and prefer conservative policies. However, the majority of people are kind, hard working, traditional and helpful toward others. I would rather live there than most other states in the U.S. I feel much safer there for example. None of the people I know personally are doing any of the things you are saying here or spouting hateful rhetoric. Sometimes our views are very narrow indeed.
Well said.
Just when I think your content can't get any better - love this, will share. Thank you 🙏 🩷
Gah this is truly so hard. I would love to say that if we preach inclusivity, we should be inclusive, but there must be a line. What does that mean? I do agree with principles over party. But I also agree with principle over policies. If a candidate supports taking rights away from people I love, dehumanizing them, questioning their right to EXIST... and your reasoning is "Well, I don't agree with that, but I support their other policies"...that shows me where your priorities lie and tells me something about your character and values, does it not?
Now, that does not mean I need to go and dehumanize you, question YOUR right to exist, call you names, etc. But I certainly can be very deliberate and strategic about how I manage that relationship going forward. Which could vary based on the individual. Would love to hear an opposing view.
So good! Thanks for sharing! I have several friends that support Trump because they are conservatives and they liked some of the policies he had and the economy…that’s what they say. I know them. Love them. Respect them. Disagree with them. They all hate his rhetoric and him as a person too. I’m conservative too but independent registered because I don’t ever want to be linked to a single party, especially in today’s climate.
I never voted for him because of his rhetoric and because of who he is as a person. I never will. I hope my friends don’t either but that is their choice and their right. I’ll still love them but I’ve learned a lot from Sharon that helps me to listen to them more and understand, even if I disagree.
My friends of color on the other hand, like Eunice, I stand with them too because they truly fear for their lives and that is so unfortunate. My heart breaks for them.
I recently had to delete a friend off social media due to politics. I felt guilty but we don’t talk as much anymore as when we lived in the same state. I tried not engaging in her posts but they kept popping up. What really did it for me was when she started sharing conspiracy theories and calling herself a devoted Christian when she would judge and attack the other side when there’s some theory that pops up but never calls out her own side when something happens. As others have said, if this friend needs something and texts me, I would respond and assist, but I had to put up boundaries when I cannot look at them and hold some judgement 😕
Wow, this is so thought provoking...thank you. I would love to share it, is it only available for members?
No, it’s open to all, please feel free to share!
This so tough. I mean, it's where idealism meets reality, right? I'm reminded of the incredible story of the real Black klansman, Detective Ron Stallworth (https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/snap-judgment/id283657561?i=1000418414983). He actually became friends with prominent members of the KKK, members who ended up repenting of racism.
Now, I'm not saying everyone should put themselves in danger like this. Surely, wisdom is needed. This real life story, though, does give me hope that the power of friendship and of shared humanity can really change hearts and minds.
Addendum: the first story on the podcast is about Detective Ron Stallworth.
The second story (the one I was thinking of) is about jazz musician Daryl Davis who has befriended and convinced 200 klansmen to give up their robes.
Thank you for this reminder! I vote differently than probably 99% of the people at my church. It hurts to hear them speak so negatively about people who vote like I do. I don’t understand the Trump worship either. My goal is always to love others. It isn’t easy but it’s what I’m called to do. Since most churches don’t do a great job helping the poor how else can we do it but through our taxes.
The Catholic Church does a lot to help the poor as do many other denominations. I’m fine with taxes going to help those who need assistance but they need to be regulated better as some programs are not - and tax payers money is not used wisely. That’s a broad statement but there’s a big problem with government spending in general.
I take “Love Your Neighbor” to be about respect. Live and let live- you don’t have to love everyone, be friends with everyone, and agree with everyone, but treat people with civility and respect and kindness. Maybe she won’t be best friends with this person but treating them kindly would be the right thing to do. Or maybe getting to know them she might get a better understanding of where and what their views are. She may even be able to plant some new seeds that could sway them.
I would most likely not avoid them, however I would not continue to actively invest in the friendship. The fact of the matter is that both parties are not the same, not even close. One wants to take rights away from LGBQT, actively trying to take away healthcare access, openly makes racist remarks, insults the disabled, say climate change is a hoax, say they will defund schools that require vaccines, put AR15s over kids safety, calls social security and entitlement and wants to get rid of it, and sadly I could go on and on. I have a hard time understanding why people can support those policies. I can’t respect and I even resent that fact that their support from a political perspective can change literally change my rights and the world my kids grown up in. It is not just politics, it’s a threat to use continuing to live in a country with a functioning democracy in support of all people. So I can love my neighbor enough to fight for democracy for us all. I will always be kind, even helpful at times. But, I can’t invest time and energy when we are worlds apart
Sorry for my typos, I was multitasking 🙁
100% agree. Friends within our own church community refused their kids to be friends with a family that had a Biden sign in their yard. Which then caused contention and confusion with the children. It still boggles my mind that adults would project this onto their kids.
I hate this for everyone involved but especially for the kids. It’s 💯 true that we teach kids to hate and then they turn into adults that hate which keeps us stuck in this cycle of us v/s them.
Donald Trump. Forever a thorn in the ass of America. A splinter that just won’t go away.😳🍎🍎🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸. I know way too many good people that he has corrupted. I definitely do not cross the street. I know and get along with a lot of good Republicans that support Donald Trump. It’s just so baffling to me how good people can be fooled by such a freaking buffoon. God bless America :-)
I would never want to treat someone badly- no matter their beliefs. It is not true to who I am. But I would be very cautious about sharing with someone who had signs of someone who promotes hate. I have female, gay and neurologically ill members of my family and their lives are at stake.
I have neighbors who vote differently than I do. Our kids can still hang out. We can still hang out. We have other things we enjoy where we find common ground and shared interests. I happily discuss politics with her from an academic perspective and from a “help me understand” place. Is she the person I’m going on vacation with? No. Is she someone I’ll hang out with and bake for an afternoon? Sure. If I ever felt unsafe, I wouldn’t do that but we have had interesting conversations and I genuinely like her and her family. I don’t think we will ever change each other’s minds but even if she rolls her eyes about what I have to say after I leave, I have learned more about her perspective and I think that ls valuable even if I vehemently disagree with her stance on certain topics.
I’m sorry, I do not get this. It’s prejudice, pure and simple. It’s no different than not wanting to be friends with someone because of their religious beliefs. Differences of opinion are what make this country interesting, and it’s very hypocritical for either side to expect tolerance and respect for their views but not reciprocate it. The vilifying stereotypes for each side is what has divided us. It’s very presumptuous to think she knows their morals based on who they support in politics. (Chances are, they don’t agree with everything.) NONE of the politicians are who we should be looking as role models. Politics is business. We all need to realize both sides have made it personal to rally support. We al could do well to take a step back, treat it as business, and not look at it as a lifestyle or persona. That lady may have lost out on a relationship that could have been very important in her life moving forward, it’s a shame she can’t be more open minded to people that may not believe everything she believes but are still good people.
To be clear, none of us *need* to put out a political sign. If we like a candidate but can't fully endorse them, we can just vote, and save our conversations about that candidate for in-person discussions that allow for nuance, rather than a context-less billboard on our lawns.
I'm wondering if you can at least understand that if you're publicly displaying a sign for a candidate known publicly for saying deeply hurtful things (and I'm NOT talking about any national candidates, these things happen locally to us too), how hard it would be for a stranger to assume you definitely don't also agree with those hurtful sentiments?
Having close friends on both sides, having close friends of different backgrounds, I know it’s very harmful to assume how anyone feels about specific topics until I hear from them first hand. While there may not be a “need” to post a sign, or fly a flag, it is our right, & I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect to be able to do such without being discriminated against. There are a multitude of reasons why people vote for specific candidates, & unless you’re willing to have an open minded conversation to discuss those reasons, don’t assume you know why they are backing them.
The general public doesn’t really know any candidate, we get biased, structured content from very biased media sources, all working to promote their own agenda. So much, on both sides, is just presented under false pretenses. The media works to polarize us, and it’s working.
It is crazy to me to let our personal views of politicians who don’t know us personally impact our personal relationships. Division is a choice. No matter who I vote for, I chose not to let it alienate me from those who don’t feel the same. Neither side is right about everything, never side is wrong about everything.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I have to say that I disagree it's entirely the media: there are many divisive candidates in every election, as there have always been in US history, and when it comes to deeply local politics "the media" isn't always present enough to even be a factor. I know my local candidate's positions because they're in my community and I can correspond with them (and get some of those divisive ideas straight from the source, as it were).
"Division is a choice. No matter who I vote for, I chose not to let it alienate me from those who don’t feel the same." I completely, completely agree with this! Which is why I do think it's important to recognize where our politicians themselves are doing the dividing.
Of course it's your right to put up a yard sign. But as Sharon often reminds us, there are consequences to our free speech or our actions. If my neighbor puts up a sign supporting a candidate who says racist things, the logical consequence is that I will wonder if my neighbor says racist things too. At a minimum, it means that racist statements are not a deal breaker for my neighbor when assessing candidates.
I agree. I was thinking the same thing that it’s similar to being friends with someone of a different religion. I’ve lived overseas in a Muslim country for almost 10 years and I have many close friends who are Muslim. We don’t agree about religion and it’s something that is very important to me. Nevertheless, it doesn’t stop me from being friends with them. They can pray in front of me. I can go to their home where they have many symbols of their religion or they come to mine. It doesn’t keep us from being friends.
What I find very difficult in today's world is that many people only see one side as extremist. Today's reality is that they are both extremist and are doing things that are actively hurting many Americans, deceptive, and only for power. If you don't see this on the democrat or republican side you haven't been looking hard enough (or actively trying not to). And what happens when your 'people' end up having a POV that you disagree with? Or one part of the narrative doesn't work? Are you going to actively cut everyone out until there is no one left but yourself and your own echo chamber?
We are at a point where it is the responsibility of everyone to look into each side of the political spectrum, learn, question, grow and figure out how we move forward.
Totally agree! Both sides are becoming more and more extremist. I don’t like it at all.
And I feel like most voters don’t fall into those more “extreme” categories. This is why we need more parties, more choices!
I have a neighbor who really likes Donald Trump. He knows my husband and I are staunchly anti-MAGA, but we all get along. He’s our electrician. We do our best not to discuss politics, but we acknowledge that we are very different in the regard.
However, I have a very hard time trusting the MAGA people. It’s disheartening, and also terrifying, to know that they believe enough of what Trump and his crew say and think that they refuse to speak out against it. As a woman, all of the MAGA anti-woman hatred is a lot. As someone with infertility, all of their “childless people don’t deserve anything” stance is a lot. It makes me feel like more of a burden than I already do. And so I understand why this woman would have chosen what she did. It’s like tearing off a mask and finding the worst of humanity underneath.
I’d love to be a person who could overlook that all the time, but I usually can’t. And honestly, I shouldn’t. You can’t overlook hate, divisiveness, racism, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, etc.
I’m 67, and l have friends of many persuasions. But l simply cannot associate with a MAGA supporter because Trump is a threat to our democracy and American way of life. And if they don’t understand that this threat is real, after a discussion of the facts, then they are too stupid to be a friend of mine.
Just my opinion…this is a tough one because the lady had already met them and was generating some type of relationship. Maybe not friends, but good decent neighbors. This is pretty harsh for her to “know her” and then dismiss her knowing she is a kind resident and now disliking her due to her party affiliation.
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that I don’t think the majority of the US is battling it out on social media or doing things like flying upside down flags or harassing people in their own home. I think people are “more than ever” avoiding doing anything that will offend their neighbors, friends or work colleagues because some people no longer know appropriate boundaries, respect and healthy interaction. I’ll admit…I hesitated sharing Sharon’s article about checking our voting records because I didn’t want the comments about it being a conspiracy theory or that it’s not true. But I did. I’m have had no interaction on the post, so that tells me that it’s being read and friends are quietly checking their voting records. I have received several personal texts thanking me for posting, but they didn’t feel comfortable commenting on my post. There is a lot to this.
I understand the concept of “love thy neighbor”…I practice the 4 agreements and “not making assumptions” is one of the agreements. Everyone needs to know that we don’t go from making assumptions to not making assumptions overnight. A practice is lifelong and I fail every day. Such is “love the neighbor”. Knowing that we have agency to create the life we want with the people we want is important…as is loving others even though their their life isn’t congruent with ours. Whew…I have a lot of work to do!
I have a dear friend and former coworker who is firmly in the "opposite" political camp. We enjoy each other's company, but we don't discuss politics. She is smart, talented and an amazing mom. Her kids are an absolute joy. We find things that we share in common and leave the political discussions outside of our time together.
My father is a lifelong member of the GOP, and he's very staunch in his beliefs. I love him, but there again, we aren't going to agree on nearly anything in the political arena. If he attempts to start a conversation with me, I remind him that we likely aren't going to agree. If he persists, I ask him to provide me with the source of his information. If it's a media outlet that caters to one side or another, I simply say something like, "Oh", or "I see" or "Hmm". There is so much more to our relationships than politics. That's just the one thing I don't engage with him on. He's not interested in hearing my thoughts on the matter so there's no potential for political discourse.
I don't think a yard sign would be enough for me to cut out someone that I really enjoyed. If they were vehemently racist, sexist, homophobic or intent on sharing their political and religious views, I would probably cut that friendship short. I like to think that I wouldn't find someone that was intent on cruelty as an appealing potential friend.
Really appreciate this timely reminder. I was literally having this conversation with my daughters at the dinner table tonight, building upon the concepts we have flat out openly discussed regarding how we treat others and what makes a good friend, etc. That gender, hair style, hair color, skin color, religion, and, yes, now enter political opinions (my oldest is 9 and learning about government and hearing things more and more) into all of that...that none of those things ever ought to define that we treat someone poorly/differently BECAUSE of those things. And when discussing candidates tonight even, because she brought up opinions of classmates' families and asked me for my own, I was sure to remind her that just because someone votes for a specific person doesn't mean they actually agree with every single assumed thing about that person. That it's complicated and sometimes people vote even purely about 1 single thing. That we should be curious and respectful when we talk about opinions and ideas but still be kind. I hope it sticks. I hope I can embody it well. I hope others will extend the same to them and will teach their classmates similar lessons.
This makes me think of the deep, real friendship between Michelle Obama and George W Bush. Opposite ends of the political spectrum. But their friendship and affection are real, because they *know* each other.
Yes, the relationship between Michelle Obama and George W. Bush is a beautiful thing. Both come from a moderate respectful perspective. President Bush and his family have condemned Trump. You can be sure that President and Mrs. Bush don't have a Trump/Vance sign in their yard!
Love this and couldn't agree more.
I do wonder if people have different understanding of 'love your neighbor' vs. 'befriend'... I think the former often has more 'charitable' connotation and not necessarily the same as developing genuine relationships.
That doesn't change the message or truth of this discussion, but I know so many people (some of faith, some not) that would pleasantly "love their neighbors" with gifts, support, etc, but certainly wouldn't develop a personal friendship...
I like this a lot, Sharon, but also know that many faith traditions have a long history of being told “we are the chosen people, don’t have mixed marriages etc with the non-chosen people”. Even Jesus taught the Jews first before instructing his disciples to teach people of all backgrounds — and they had a hard time accepting that change to preach to the “unclean.” A sociologist commented on your moral narcissism piece that dividing into groups with shared values (clans/tribes) that protect each other has been a survival technique for many thousands of years. So I do agree with you — we need to GROW UP from those divisive ways, and I think all/most moral traditions now espouse this — but I can see how it goes against some very ingrained behaviors. “Us vs. them” behaviors that seemingly go against the “love your neighbor” teachings out of the same moral tradition. It takes a lot of maturity to balance. Do you want
This is very thought provoking, Ms. McMahon. I admit that I have been shaken by our neighbors putting up political signs for the candidate I do not support, one of which says “(he) was right about everything.” I probably should have a conversation with them to ask and clarify what exactly that means to them, but now that I know they support a candidate who has openly approved of violence, I worry for my personal safety. This is all so scary.
Insightful and impactful. Thank you, once again, for your words. I’ll admit, it is much easier to love my neighbor if I stay away from social media’s diatribes and misinformation and hate mongering. That way, the veil of mistrust and assumptions are not covering my eyes/heart. I see the person in totality. Not always easy. But, at least there is hope I’ll succeed.
I totally relate to this topic. I have distanced myself from people/ family members/ acquaintances that do not have my same political views. I will be pleasant to them while in the same room but I am not going to open myself up to them. I feel too strongly about my beliefs and it’s become a way of life for me every day. There is no way I could over look their opposite beliefs/ views as it would be in total contrast to my own. There would be no common ground to build a relationship on.
I often wonder, what our opinions would be of others WITHOUT the influence of the media. If we just got to know them as people without all the influence of media. I talking politicians whether they are left, right or independent; neighbors whether they are black, brown, white, yellow, LGBTQ. Jesus said Love God and Love your neighbor as yourself. It is what I strive for daily in all my interactions with others. When I come across someone who doesn't think like me, I try to get curious and ask them questions. What do you like about XYZ? I don't need to respond. I've learned it's ok to just listen.
I wonder this all the time too. Mainstream media is the largest cause of our current divide. It makes me sad to hear people’s beliefs that mimic what the news tells them rather than the truth.
Thank goodness for Sharon and other independents who share the facts. I love the curiosity approach.
Do you just smile and listen if they say racist things? Personally my moral code requires me to draw a line regarding some "differences of opinion."
I think believing you can only be around those who mirror your belief system is unrealistic and foolhardy. Unless you talk to the person with the differing candidate and find the why behind that choice, you are unaware as to why their support lies there. Maybe their Christian faith leans strictly pro-life, maybe they have a child who identifies within the LGBTQ+ community. Perhaps they have a grandchild who has a parent who entered the country illegally, or they lost a family member due to the unlawful action of an illegal immigrant. I would need to know the why and then consider removing that person from my life.
Some of my parents' best friends growing up were from completely opposite political sides. They were our dearest friends and when my father died, they came clear across the country to come and be at his funeral. I have many friends who I disagree with on many topics. You don't have to be best friends with everyone but you can treat them with dignity. You can be friendly without socializing with them if you don't feel your beliefs align. If we all believed the same, what an uninteresting world it would be.
A good Washington Post article about conversations between liberals, conservatives, and independents. Gift link, although you may have to create a free Washington Post login to read it. https://wapo.st/3WTO86j
If l encounter a Republican, if we can engage in political discourse, l want to know if the person agrees with Project 2025. If so, l share my understanding that Project 2025 is a threat to my life. We can’t be friends if you believe l should be exterminated.
An opportunity missed. With many things in common, it would have been enlightening to discover how/why this potential friend came to support “the other side”. I find it interesting that a new neighbor would put up a political sign—it does indicate strong feelings. Most of us would like to scope out the neighborhood/make some friends first. I would hate to offend people before I’ve had a chance to know them/at least establish neighborliness.
It could be a difficult conversation, but shunning someone else for a political sign destroys your chance to understand others and most certainly your chance to influence them.
Okay, I am almost 70 yrs old and this really hit home. I currently am living in a friend’s home (rent free). I moved back to Northern California a year ago after living in Indiana for almost 4 yrs. I have known this friend for 30+ years and love her and her family. I know that politically we do not completely agree. Sunday night I open my mouth and questioned something she said. She took it as a judgment and was very angry. I tried to explain that I misinterpreted what she said and apologized. Now it could have needed our friendship but I didn’t want that. When I was growing up my parents didn’t always agree with who their friends voted for our supported. They learned to agree to disagree. I keep trying to figure out when that stopped being a way to navigate friendships. If I picked my friends by who they voted for or the party they supported, I would miss out on so much. We will never learn how to come together to solve things if we live that way. Thank you Sharon for sharing this and giving us a place to discuss this topic as I think it is so important.
The US was built on differing opinions and principles. With the prevalent thought today being ‘division is the only way to maintain certain ideologies’ and conflict is never used for resolution but as a bettering ram, we won’t progress. There are many benefits to working through conflict if there is a willingness to try. It can help develop a deeper understanding, build trust and allows a broad look at a bigger picture than what we would normally allow ourselves to see. Ultimately, working through things together makes us stronger not weaker. We have always been better when we are united.
This makes me sad. I long for my uneducated days of not really knowing one candidate over the other, other than basic policies spoken in speeches, certainly not all of the details raked over by commentators 24/7. I have to make a decision based on what I believe is best for me, my family, my country’s future. It doesn’t mean I agree and encourage any politician’s actions/behavior outside of policy. Judge me all you want for my choice in the voting booth but it says more about you than it does about me. As for my neighbors, I’ve seen political signs that aren’t my choice and it doesn’t bother me, I would like to discuss politics calmly just to get their point of view but can’t in these heated times. That to me is worse than knowing they don’t think the same as me. The fact no one can have a real conversation and learn how to make it all mesh.
I really don’t like this world right now where a sign places a label on everyone. Both sides. Freedom of speech now has consequences and judgement.
It’s always had consequences and judgement. We’re just more vocal about those things.
Agree. It’s much more out there and visible
Very good and thought-provoking video and discussion here. Honestly, I think this is what a lot of churches struggle with today. The entire concept of “love your neighbor“ without the “if“. And if one is able to talk the talk without walking the walk, then what does that tell the younger generation regarding values like faith, hope, trust, honesty, moral integrity, etc..
And I totally agree with comments that talk about leaning into conversations behind the beliefs of why someone would want to put a particular political sign in their yard. I also just think it is sad that many have lost the capacity to have an unheated conversation to share different beliefs and viewpoints . The older I get, the more I believe it is always “both/and“ rather than “either/or“.
My neighborhood lives this out daily. It’s very small, only 16 houses and the majority of my neighbors are on the conservative spectrum. There are a few of us who are not, but you wouldn’t know when we all gather at the super social couple’s house to watch a movie on their outdoors screen or hang out for fireworks. The women get together and hang out every few months and I can absolutely count on every single neighbor to have our backs if we need it.
The only time I struggled was when the woman across the street was heavily into Qanon and a Christian nationalist. A lot of her online presence was vile, but in person she was super pleasant and I knew she would be a good neighbor if I needed it. We’d wave to each other and I know she’d have been helpful if we needed it and we would do the same. Like the woman in the video, I was sad at the potential friendship that was lost. Unlike her, I didn’t completely back away.
It’s a lot harder for people to fully believe the vile things spewed on the internet about you if you are constantly showing them those beliefs are wrong.
That’s been the hardest thing about the last few years, be it politics or covid. People who I thought were kind had a different social media persona that was vastly different or even scary. It’s been hard to reconcile.
For me. I choose not to be a judge and jury about why or what a person is thinking because of a specific political affiliation. Why is it my job to delve deeply into their character because of politics. For me. I choose principles over party. Let’s all be friends and neighbors. I have people I deeply love and spend time with on every single side. I don’t feel threatened. I feel enlarged by their insights and ideas. But… this is what I choose. Choice is free.
We can love our neighbor, but not want to hang out with them. This is especially true with those whose political beliefs we find offensive. I think "love" in this context is a "caring for and about," as in the case of need, such as illness, catastrophe or natural disaster. It does not necessarily mean getting together on a Saturday night. You choose friends with whom you are compatible. Having children of the same age, without more, may not be enough of a connection to overcome antithetical politics.
My first thought when watching this is that this is how we've become so polarized. I also absolutely get the inclination to see the yard sign, decide this person doesn't share your values, and disengage - I've done versions of this myself at times. However, if you really do like this person on a lot of levels, it's an opportunity to share your own beliefs and to hear where they are coming from. I'm not saying you should set about trying to change their mind, but certainly snubbing them isn't going to open their eyes to new ideas. Obviously this doesn't apply if you don't feel safe to do so, but if we want dialogue and less polarization in politics, it has to start somewhere.
I”m a moderate, if I choose to put a sign up of whom I’m voting for, since both this year seem pretty left and right leaning, I would hope that my neighbors would be open to have a conversation with me about it. Just quitting a friendship over a sign is quite immature. If I put up a Kamala sign, it doesn’t mean I agree 100% with abortion and putting up a Trump sign doesn’t mean I’m 100% against it. Come find out why I’m voting the way I am, I promise I don’t bite!
In my neighborhood we had someone put up signs for all parties and got bombarded with negative comments! I asked and she said she believes in free will and democracy, no reason not to support the right to vote! I totally got it!
Just to clarify, Kamala Harris is not "for abortion." No Democratic candidate is. She is for privacy. She is for government staying out of medical decisions and only patients and physicians should decide on medical things. This is the view of all Democrats on this subject. Small government, keep politicians out of the doctor's exam room. Hillary Clinton said it best, many years ago: "Abortion should be safe, legal, and rare." Democrats want to fund sex education and contraception.
I appreciate your comment, but I didn’t say Kamala did anything, or Trump did anything. I said I am not 100% for or against it! Democrats lean toward abortion rights, Republicans do not. I am a moderate and had to have an abortion at 17 yrs of age because of rape, so yes, I believe in the right to choose, but I do not think abortion should be used as birth control. You do have to admit though, each party sign comes with a stigma, and it has for ages! Just no need to bully someone over a stupid sign!
This story resonates! Thanks for sharing. It gives me a lot to think about today...
I think it begins with a fundamental willingness to consider someone else’s humanity, and a consideration that you don’t know everything about an issue.
I’m so thankful I had a difficult conversation with my black boss, given that I thought I was such an open minded white person. She shared perspectives and experiences I would have never considered that humbled me and made me realize how biased I really was.
I’m so thankful I had really difficult and sometimes heated conversations with my kids regarding abortion. They made me expand my understanding and awareness of situations I never considered.
I’m so thankful that I responded when my new Indian neighbor waved, and didn’t allow her accent or traditional dress or her bindi to turn me away. I gained a lifelong friend with one of the sweetest, most loving people I’ve ever known.
I think we can be so judgmental without knowing other people’s stories. It’s safe to stay in our own little world with our own opinions, but people that are different from us or who believe differently bring such a richness to our lives that we would have missed out on otherwise. I’m especially surprised by the lady in this story because she had already begun a relationship with these people and stopped it cold because of a sign.
My parents live in Houston, TX. Their is a lot of diversity of political opinion in their neighborhood, and folks are used to being friendly with neighbors who have political signs for politicians they oppose. However, there *is* a lot of controversy over signs -- from an aesthetic perspective. The neighborhood association has strict rules about when signs can be displayed (only close to the election), but of course these rules aren't followed because people are going to forget. My mom is a strong believer in the sign time rules, and gets annoyed with me because I'll leave the same sign up for a local politician from the primary to the general.
There was also a much stranger incident in their neighborhood with an American flag. One of the neighbors had a very dirty and torn American flag in his yard, which bothered a lot of neighbors of all political persuasions. One day, one of my parents' friends walked by when someone was taking the flag down. The friend asked if she could have the flag, as her son's boy scout troop was learning to properly retire American flags. The man taking the flag down gave it to her.
Turns out -- the man who was taking the flag down was doing so unauthorized because he was offended by the poorly maintained flag! The neighbor who flew the flag came to our friend's house demanding his flag back. He said he was flying the poorly maintained flag as a protest for how Trump was treated after the 2020 election. Of course the flag was returned to him, though I don't think he put it back up. This man's neighbors are still nice to him, but I think the incident made them think "this guy is weird and I don't want to be his friend".
Anyway, just a little bit of vaguely relevant neighborhood gossip -- nothing compared to the time a neighbor painted their house Smurf blue, but that's another story. I guess the moral is you can still love your neighbor even if they are very strange and you don't *like* them very much.
Beautifully said. I truly hope they can move forward. … and not use If or But.
Love this message. I think it’s important to have friends with different political views. Good to have diversity of perspectives and experiences. This example you shared - the woman missed out on potentially a great friendship.
Differing views on...tax policy or zoning? Sure on those things it's fine to disagree respectfully. Differing views on saying racist things or requiring laws to be made according to a partular religion? No. Absolutely not. I will always be polite and cordial but I will NEVER be friends with a neighbor who supports racism, homophobia, etc. And I wouldn't let my children near them. Imagine you live in Berlin in 1938. "Well yes my neighbor is a Nazi who hates Jews, but we just don't talk politics at the block party."!!!!
I wouldn’t be friends with anyone like that either. But not sure which political sign would send that message.
In the current presidential election there is a candidate who has repeatedly said racist things. Dined with white supremacists. Committed sexual assault, as determined in court. Lied and lied and lied. It's documented. Made fun of the disabled. Convicted of fraud. Has cheated in business. Used nicknames like a bully.
If a neighbor put up a sign for this candidate I would naturally assume the neighbor approves of this behavior and maybe engages in it too.
Even if they don't approve but they just don't care and are willing to overlook the horrible behavior, my moral code will not permit me to do so.
I would be a polite neighbor from a distance but I would never socialize with them and most important, I would keep my children away from them.
I’m sorry you feel that way.
Hey, it is your right to set your own priorities and raise your children according to your own moral code.
Completely agree! I just don’t agree that putting up a political sign of a candidate indicates you support their behavior. Maybe they support that person’s policies.
Yes, that's my point exactly. Based on the values of my family, we don't want our children exposed to people who are okay with overlooking racism or sexual assault. It is your right to do that if a candidate's tax policy (or whatever policy) is a higher priority for you than human rights. I fully support your right to make your own decisions. Sincerely. For my family, when selecting a candidate, some things are just deal breakers. Racism, sexism, homophobia, Islamaphobia, antisemitism, prejudice against Latinos or Asians, etc. No matter the candidate's policies. I get that some voters are comfortable looking past that. I'm not.
I agree. I just don’t believe that we currently have a candidate with all of those things you listed. I definitely wouldn’t support that.
Even JUST ONE of those hateful beliefs is a deal breaker for me. Donald Trump has said and done many things that go against my moral code. If you feel comfortable overlooking his statements and behavior, that is your right.
We have always had Presidents who may not have a strong moral compass. But personally I don’t judge them for supporting them. I do judge someone on their individual moral compass.
I am also coming from a place that I don’t believe what mainstream media (and celebs) has done to convince viewers that Trump is a monster. People aren’t morally bankrupt or ignoring their morals because they support him. There are just evil people out there who happen to support Trump and evil people who support other candidates as well.
Powerful. This needs to to be said throughout MSM. The divide in this country right now is so ugly.
Thank you for this. I have this same belief to love my neighbor. And everyone me is my neighbor!