93 Comments

She always looks so miserable when she’s around him, I’m sure there’s some agreement/contract in place which is why she hasn’t left yet. I thought her hat placement was very intentional after seeing how it made it impossible for him to kiss her cheek yesterday. I think dressing like she was going to a funeral was also a choice.

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I think society’s expectations of a First Lady to commit so much UNPAID time to anything are unrealistic and sexist. It does not bother me that she chose to have a lower profile than many. As a new mom, I can also relate to her choices regarding her son. Thank you, Sharon, for this summary of what we know about Melania’a life.

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I agree. The fact that she has paid staff but we expect her to work essentially a full time job for free is sexist.

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This is a good point! She does get housing, food, secret service for life and a press corps that allows her a platform to elevate any topic she wants. There are so many memorable First Ladies that added much to our dialogue. I view it as a rare opportunity and privilege more than an unpaid obligation.

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I really don’t care, do you? Sorry, feeling pretty down today.

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I think she's fascinating and enjoyed learning more about her.

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Sharon - a voice from the trenches of Substack (that would be me) is asking if you could pretty please do a deep dive on “Oligarchs” - what they are, their history and how they do harm to democracies and free speech. Please and thank you 🙏🏻

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She appears to be extraordinarily strong and equally able to meet her own goals. It is very trumpian that her husband has cruelly targeted immigrants while her own family was able to become legal residents without following the rules.

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I totally understand her protection of her son. Previous presidencies have shown that kids aren’t allowed to make the normal mistakes of growing up without the world having an opinion.

I found her online bullying platform very strange considering her husband’s tendency to be an online bully, but it makes sense knowing they don’t overlap much in any capacity.

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Hmm. Not what I expected to see here on the day that so many of the people who rioted, beat police and defecated in the U.S. Capitol got their get-out-of-jail-free cards.

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I get what you’re saying but I imagine Sharon has probably been pretty swamped in the past 24 hours. I trust she’s going to address the big things. That takes time to do well and right.

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Yeah, if I were Sharon I would be somewhat overwhelmed right about now. Where would one even start? Personally, I feel like I’m on some new terrifying roller coaster ride and the bars have come down, we’ve left the boarding area and we just passed the point of no return.

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That didn’t happen until almost 8 last night. I imagine this was prepped and ready to go. She was a little busy last night to change course at the last minute.

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Kate, I agree with you, the destruction of our democracy has begun😢

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My thoughts exactly !

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Thank you for this post. I always like and learn something new from your profiles. Would love if you did one on Usha Vance as well!

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Thank you for this post about Melania. She is such a beautiful and eloquent First Lady. I hope this time around she is represented fairly by the media. I love her Jackie O vibes!

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Playing devil's advocate, I'd say Michelle Obama was also treated to quite a bit of unkind media coverage while first lady (and still is).

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I agree.

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I agree Amy. I don’t like how she turns a blind eye to the bullying that Trump does considering her Be Best platform but she herself is very graceful. I love how even though the media was not kind to her, she never showed how much it bothered her. She’s stronger than she looks and I love how she put hers and her son’s privacy above all else. You can tell she cares a lot about her family and sounds like the perfect partner to a president.

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Can you elaborate on how you believe the media has treated her unfairly? I feel like she's remained rather an unknown throughout the entirety of her husband's political career, and, if anything, has mostly escaped media attention at all. Sure there were the rare stories, like her I don't care jacket and conspiracy theories of trying to "escape" Trump, but I always felt like those were mostly in lesser known and/or social media circles and not the actual media.

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The media loved to ridicule her Christmas decor at the White House. A fashion designer didn’t want to design for her and encouraged others to do the same. She didn’t get much support or recognition for initiatives she started.

I do believe the tides are changing though. I’m impressed Sharon wrote about her.

Here are some articles. But most of the ridicule was over Twitter (at the time).

https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2019/dec/2/melania-trump-christmas-decorations-mocked-media/

https://abcnews.go.com/amp/Entertainment/fashion-designer-sophie-theallet-pens-open-letter-refusing/story?id=43639234

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I would contend that your 2nd link is not ridicule at all. It is a fashion designer rightfully calling out Melania's husband's hateful rhetoric as her reasoning for refusing to dress her. As for her initiatives"....I'm only aware of one, Be Best. Melania took credit for a brochure that she didn't create, and advocated against bullying while married to a literal bully. Finally, in regards to Sharon writing about her - she has always written about figures from both sides of the aisle, and it has never meant that she supports or advocates for them. (See also: Andrew Jackson)

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Thanks for taking the time to prove me wrong point by point. I don’t know what to tell you if you don’t believe the media treated her poorly during his first term.

I agree that Sharon writes about a variety of people and doesn’t indicate her support.

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She’s stunning! Enjoyed learning more about her life.

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Eloquent?!!! After living in the US for this long it is inexcusable to speak such broken English. I too am an immigrant. I speak fluent English and started studying Spanish. And I am not a first lady with extreme wealth and all the time in the world.

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I don't really think that her looks, choice of clothing, choice of protecting her child, etc. are of any consequence whatsoever and find it amazing that this conversation focuses on those points. What I do care about is the obvious class issues--how she got her green card (what constitutes "distinguished merit or ability"!? What value does that bring to the country vs what other immigrants have to offer?!) and how her family was then granted immigration status/citizenship so easily. Privilege once again wins out over substance. If you don't want to participate in the role, don't enter into it. I am a feminist and support women's choices, but whether you are a woman or a man in this spousal role, I feel you should be prepared to show the country you care about more than yourself.

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Her immigration story is very interesting. And we dug into it. But immigration records are private. And unless someone leaks them, all we can share is what she has said publicly.

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I’m curious to know if she was a citizen when Barron was born. The way this is written makes it sound like it happened after his birth, which is interesting in light of the EO regarding birthright citizenship.

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FYI, even with the new EO, Barron would have citizenship because his father is a citizen.

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Oh that's true. Didn't think about that! Thanks

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Thank you! Was going to say the same but you said it better!

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Thank you, Sharon. There was a lot here that I did not know.

I was struck yesterday especially by her hat which hid her eyes. She had almost a ghostly presence at the Inauguration.

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I felt the same way. It was as if she was hiding her eyes and didn’t want anyone to be able to see how she really feels.

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I, too, was thrown by that hat. What a distraction.

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She appeared to be a Stepford Wife, or a mannequin. She does not wish to be seen. So interesting.

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Grifter. Isolated grifter. The only service she knows is room service. Freak show for four more years. Then, I hope, there will be enough people hurt by this administration that they wake up. But there has to be real pain before they do, I’m afraid. Hoping we get stagflation for the main course with high unemployment on the side. I hate the idea of four years wasted but we need some harsh medicine to rid ourselves of this carnival of disaster.

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Who wishes for a president to fail? For our country to fail? Even if you don’t like who won, why root for pain for others… seems unbalanced and definitely an unhealthy mindset.

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It’s not. My wishing doesn’t change a thing. What will make the pain happen isn’t me. It’s him. 25% tariffs? That’s not me. That’s him. Mass deportations that over and over prove to

raise unemployment? That’s not me. Thats him. When voters elected him, these are the things they voted for. Now I want them to get what they voted for. Sorry.

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It is easy to wish for him to fail when one feels it is wrong to..... deport immigrants, abandon climate change initiatives, leave the WHO, leave the Paris climate accords, release criminals from jail who desecrated our capital, make billionaires richer, abandon our allies around the world. Failing at any of these things would be beneficial for most of us. Our country would be better if he failed.

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Exactly this.👏

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Yikes. As Sharon has said many times- we cannot work for each other’s mutual destruction.

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No but we can hope that voters get exactly what they voted for. They just didn’t understand or chose to ignore inflation that follows the tariffs and the high unemployment that’s follows mass deportations. Mutual destruction? No. Natural consequences? Yes, please.

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I’m not even sure how to respond. I find your comments actually terrifying that you wish such harm on your fellow Americans.

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The terrifying thing is nothing short of this person doing the things he says he’s going to do over the next four years. That’s the terrifying thing. Not me 😂

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That’s a little dramatic don’t you think? People cast votes. Almost half voted for a guy that openly supports a bunch of crazy stuff imo including massive tariffs and mass deportations that both lead to high inflation and unemployment. Truth or lie? Truth. He won based on those promises. Okay. So then why oh why is my wanting to see his voters feel exactly when they voted for a bad thing?

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Do you claim you know what everyone voted for, there are a lot of issues and no one gets everything they want. You seem to be projecting your dislike of Trump onto those who voted for him. Many of his policies will benefit our nation as a whole.. I get you are upset but why not wait and see what really happens and how it impacts our country instead of wishing for a bad outcome for fellow Americans.

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Call me crazy for thinking that a felon who has assaulted women, taken away womens' rights, cooked his financial books, took high security documents from the white house and lied about it, refused to concede his election loss, incited an insurrection, and regularly punches down, has a worthy character to be president of this nation. As an aside, since when did a PRESIDENT mock and ridicule a state governor in the middle of a natural disaster? President Biden (and every president I can remember), visited, provided aid, and provided support to ANY state experiencing a tragedy, be it a red state or a blue state. Trump works to drive wedges, divide people, and has done away with what used to be the UNITED states.

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And in spite of all this, Trump is still POTUS. The American people looked at four years of Trump and four years of Biden and made their decision. How terrible of a platform the Democrat Party clearly had to lose to the Donald Trump you describe?

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While Trump can be divisive, Biden and the media contributed so much to the division we have today. The hate people have for Trump has blinded them to reality.

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The love of Trump also seems to have a blinding effect. We all need to keep our eyes open and be willing to critique and be honest about our preferred leaders.

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So last try for me and then I need to go back to work 😂 Candidate T lays out a bunch of diff things that he says will MAGA. Okay. Yes. I’m going to assume people who voted for him liked what he said. Is that a crazy assumption? Don’t we tend to vote for people we agree with? I can’t imagine voting for someone i don’t agree with? So if that’s true, then what they voted for was a person who promised tariffs that have never not led to higher inflation. Never. Tariffs are inflationary. And mass deportations (now he may back down from this - who knows with this guy) lead to unemployment. Bush and Obama did the same thing back in the day but in certain counties only and then economists went back and looked at what happened over time. What happened was that small businesses lost an important part of their labor pool and had to either contract or close. Not good. We are already a nation very short on labor.

So I assume that T’s voters agree with T’s actions and policies and those policies lead to inflation and unemployment. Don’t shoot the messenger. My hope is that his voters now actually get what they voted for.

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I agree with you 100% Jeanne. We just allowed a CONVICTED criminal, an adjudicated sexual abuser of WOMEN to the presidency. No amount of sane-washing this man OR his cabinet picks (save Marco Rubio) will change those facts!. Next they will be arguing that the salute Elon gave was a misunderstanding by us.

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Oh my goodness you said this so well (I agree on Rubio btw - he’s a little island of sanity in a sea of bad sailing 😂)

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The difference is that we believe his policies will have positive effects.. have a nice day.

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Ahhhh - and therein lies the problem. Despite facts and data, you have “beliefs”. And the only way to shake those beliefs out of your head is to show you that they are not grounded in reality. And the only way to show you that they are not grounded in reality is for you to actually live through the truth that’s about to hit you over the next four years. Good luck.

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And the hateful name calling isn’t a good look either… and two wrongs don’t make it right. Seems there are a lot of Trump haters here and projecting their anger on his family and his voters.

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My mouth is hanging open. Literally. Donald Trump has called more people names than I am allowed room here to list. I am honestly flummoxed that you would criticize anyone for "hateful name calling" when Trump leads the way. You are mind boggling that you cannot see what is right in front of you.

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For the record, I do not condone name calling from anyone. Including Trump, but I’m not in contact with him and doubt he’d care if I was upset by his behavior. I didn’t vote for him because he’s a perfect example of manners and behavior. I voted for him despite that. The reason I made a comment about name calling is because I don’t see the point in calling his wife a “grifter” or anything. She’s not him and shouldn’t be the target of anyone’s ire. Neither should the voters. We are not responsible for any elected officials behavior past, present or future. We may vote for them based on who we think will do a better job for the office. Clearly more voters felt he would, in spite of his many imperfections.. and to be fair, the other candidates had a few themselves. I don’t go for “false equivalency” arguments because wrong is wrong. I feel this group has higher standards than Trump and that name calling doesn’t get us anywhere. I really don’t want to argue about Trump any further. I voted for him for many reasons.. not one issue, not two.. but many reasons. It was my choice and I stand by it. Whether or not he will deliver remains to be seen. But can we just accept that there are different views on this thread? Trump voters are just as welcome (and pay the same) to be here as Trump haters.

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So to be clear: you’re holding me to a higher standard than our President? Why? Name calling is okay by our leader, the face of our nation because…you’re “not in contact with him”?

I don’t think so. Consider this: Presidents are role models. Presidents have the power to shape the culture of a country. They are supposed to set the standard, not lower the bar. Presidents have great power, and that requires - no, demands - a higher standard of ethical conduct than little old me calling Melania “a grifter” (after selling meme coin$, bibles and probably Baron next).

Freedom belongs to all of us and I feel grateful for two things: the freedom to vote in free and fair elections and the freedom of speech that allows me to speak out when I see grift and graft and trouble ahead 🇺🇸🇺🇸

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We can only control our own behavior. I choose not to call names or bully… I can’t control what you or anyone else - including the president says or does. I can only control myself. We are both free to vote as we wish, say what we wish and think what we wish… I don’t hold anyone to a lower or higher standard than anyone else.. that’s how I live my life. The role model argument is old… no one is obligated to be a role model if they choose not to. Again, their life, their choice. The people have voted and I’m genuinely sorry for anyone who is upset that Trump won… but he did - and that says a lot about the other side. Food for thought.

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I keep seeing people holding Trump and his cabinet picks to no moral standard whatsoever while holding regular citizens to impossible moral standards. If you’re not calling out your preferred leaders for hateful speech and immoral behavior, then you should probably stop policing regular folks in The Preamble comment section.

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Thank you!!! 🎯🎯🎯

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For the record, I do not condone name calling from anyone. Including Trump, but I’m not in contact with him and doubt he’d care if I was upset by his behavior. I didn’t vote for him because he’s a perfect example of manners and behavior. I voted for him despite that. The reason I made a comment about name calling is because I don’t see the point in calling his wife a “grifter” or anything. She’s not him and shouldn’t be the target of anyone’s ire. Neither should the voters. We are not responsible for any elected officials behavior past, present or future. We may vote for them based on who we think will do a better job for the office. Clearly more voters felt he would, in spite of his many imperfections.. and to be fair, the other candidates had a few themselves. I don’t go for “false equivalency” arguments because wrong is wrong. I feel this group has higher standards than Trump and that name calling doesn’t get us anywhere. I really don’t want to argue about Trump any further. I voted for him for many reasons.. not one issue, not two.. but many reasons. It was my choice and I stand by it. Whether or not he will deliver remains to be seen. But can we just accept that there are different views on this thread? Trump voters are just as welcome (and pay the same) to be here as Trump haters.

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Extremely well said. Couldn’t agree more.

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What a horrible thing to wish! You need serious mental health assistance.

Being unemployed when things went south in 2008, was a horrible time for me and my family. we came so close to losing our home and it wrecked us financially for the next decade. I just recently managed to get a decent credit score again over 15 years later.

While I am not a supporter and didn’t vote for him, be careful what you wish for, it could land in your own doorstep in extremes, for YOU AND YOUR family.

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So my wishes make nothing so. My wishes have no impact on what happens. But they are still my wishes. And it’s okay to hope that people see the price of milk and bread not falling. It’s okay for them to see the rich get even richer while they don’t. I believe where we are right now is far worse than any tough medicine because the problem is we can still explain it all away. We are moving towards an oligarchy if we’re not already there and I would much rather have four miserable years and get our democracy back then have T’s brand of “democracy” succeed.

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"I hope Trump's policies hurt people and make everyone's lives miserable so Democrats can win again" is certainly an argument, especially coming off the back of an administration that did exactly that and was wholly rejected.

As an aside, I am glad Melania has largely stayed out of the limelight. The First Lady is not an elected member of government, and I've never understood the expectation for these women to start their own programs or initiatives. It will be interesting to see how our first First Gentleman will be treated in this regard.

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No. I want his voters to get exactly what they voted for. And make no mistake - Dems are a mess too!

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She’s got everything she deserves…everything.

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I felt a little sad for Melanie as Sharon described a life with a degree of isolation. However as I continued reading, I decided she lives exactly the life she wants. Her isolation is self-imposed and oreferred.

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Thanks for sharing details of her life before she married Trump. It’s interesting to learn about her family and her modeling career. Now about that outfit… She is obviously stunning and looks great in everything she wears - but I was not a fan of the hat. It covered two of her best features - her beautiful eyes and her hair. It looked severe. In contrast, I loved how Usha Vance looked adoringly at her husband while he was being sworn in. They seem like a couple in love and those three precious kids… I wish Trump and his administration much success in this term because success will help the entire country, whether you like him or not. I respect Melania for being her own person. Many couples live somewhat separate lives and if that works for them, more power to them. And I was glad when she changed into that gorgeous ball gown and took off the hat! Not that fashion is the most important thing - but it’s fun to see what everyone is wearing at these gala events.

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I don’t wish him success. The success Trump wants and has already begun with his Executive Orders is for he and his rich friends to get richer, for drug companies to get richer, for oil companies to get even more profitable, for people willing to break the law for him by storming the US Capitol to go free, for hard working immigrants to be deported and for the media billionaires to buy their tax cuts and freedom from regulations and control what the American public gets to read and hear. His success is at the expense of the vast majority of Americans.

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Well said! I agree about the hat- but if anyone can pull it off, it’s her. Absolutely stunning!

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I’m glad you said the outfit was black. lol! The news kept reporting a navy blue suit and hat but I saw it as black. I absolutely loved her dress at the first inauguration. The covering of her eyes this time was ick to me. The choice makes more sense after reading this. Barron looked miserable as well. I feel so sorry for them but also…they don’t have to stay with him.

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Her light blue look at the first inauguration was an iconic First Lady outfit.

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