I love this. I'm a bit of an evangelist for taking walks without headphones or anything. I walk my dog daily and I like to be present with her, but to also just pay attention to the world around me, to nature, to the sounds of birds and squirrels, watch the sunrise, and just be alone with your own thoughts.
What a powerful and timely message. I read Unconnected by Carlos Whittaker (who I found on Instagram through Sharon). It's an interesting read about his journey, as a podcaster, to use his phone less and connect with people more. He starts with a visit to a neurologist and gets a scan, then another scan after 7 weeks of screen free time. Fascinating.
I have always found it odd how many folks have earphones on when walking in quiet places. I find listening to the earth to be the best listen. Thank you for this.
Thank you! This is a very helpful reminder to us all. Our world - and our lives - have become so noisy. In my psychotherapy practice, one of the most stubborn problems I encounter is people who are using their phones in addictive ways and, in the process, completely disengaging from their partners and children. The thought of leaving their phone behind, even in another room, causes panic. We work on mindfulness based stress reduction techniques, but it is a stretch for those who cannot be without stimulation for even a few seconds. Perhaps your reminder that we need “down” time to consolidate memories might be helpful because most of us can relate to the concern of diminished cognition.
I know it’s kind of ironic, but I discovered a hack for finding time to be human. It’s a way to use your phone to tell you when to stop using your phone.
Backing up a bit: I am a former workaholic whose work never really had an endpoint once my job became fully remote in 2020. I loved the extra time I got to spend at home instead of 2 hours in a car in round trip daily LA traffic, but those 2 hours changed from catching up on podcasts and news while commuting to just 2 more hours of work. I kept thinking that my work/life balance would improve the further out we got from Covid. But the work kept creeping into my nights and weekends, and kept getting worse. Like this essay mentioned, productivity just raised the bar instead of rewarding me with freedom. I started rationalizing it as an inherent tradeoff for the convenience of working at home. But I could tell my body was rejecting the constant stress.
Then my employer was bought by a larger corporation that eventually cut my pay, increased my tax burden, and took away my benefits. I calculated that it amounted to a 10% pay cut despite everything getting more expensive. And then everyone else on my team was laid off, forcing them into chronic unemployment like the rest of the TV industry. Meanwhile it was expected that I would work harder to make up for the lack of hands available to do the work of creating a TV show.
It was kind of the nudge I needed to take my work/life separation seriously. I realized that the only fair thing to do would be to cut back my hours by ten percent to mirror the cut in pay. But it was soooo hard to ignore the pull back to work. As a supervisor, it sometimes feels like doing so isn’t just a betrayal of the employer, but a betrayal of the workers who might be stuck and frustrated, depending on a response from me in order to work.
But then the other side of my brain reminds me: I’m not being paid enough to care, so stop caring! They should get only what they pay for. There used to be a time when my availability depended on whether I was physically in an office, and I needed to figure out a way to synthesize that dynamic again.
My hack: I went to my calendar app and put in recurring alerts for start work and end work, plus breaks between. I created a “focus” that hides alerts from work-related apps after hours. And I was honest with my coworkers about what I was doing so that I didn’t have to feel like explaining myself all the time.
It worked! I haven’t felt more free to pursue my hobbies and interests in a decade. Externalizing the pressure to clock out for the evening and take midday naps made it easier to remember to take care of myself. And it turns out that all of my coworkers are too wrapped up in their own panic to judge my mental health needs. The solution was there all along!
I used to think I could save the world if only I could find the time — if I could somehow work less while still affording a roof over my head. Now I’m spending an hour or two each day, researching ways to save the world and writing about it, and finding out that saving the world is pretty fun, as long as you go about it without letting the self-doubt creep in.
Perhaps this could be helpful for the other things in life other than work that creep into our “me time” that takes a backseat by default? I cringe whenever people pretend they have the one answer that will solve everyone’s problems, but it has really helped me. Hopefully it could be helpful for others.
As a retired teacher, I can relate to never being off. I loved my kids and my career, but I worked a crazy amount of hours for not enough pay, sacrificed myself and my family, because it was for the kids, right? But I had to beg for a day off to attend the funeral for a dear friend because she wasn’t a close relative. I won that fight, but why did I have to fight for it? What is wrong with us? Half of my career was long before computers and cell phones! It’s a symptom of American society and tech has made it worse.
Even in retirement, my pattern has not changed. This article is a reminder that we must.
I love this. I'm a bit of an evangelist for taking walks without headphones or anything. I walk my dog daily and I like to be present with her, but to also just pay attention to the world around me, to nature, to the sounds of birds and squirrels, watch the sunrise, and just be alone with your own thoughts.
What a powerful and timely message. I read Unconnected by Carlos Whittaker (who I found on Instagram through Sharon). It's an interesting read about his journey, as a podcaster, to use his phone less and connect with people more. He starts with a visit to a neurologist and gets a scan, then another scan after 7 weeks of screen free time. Fascinating.
I should have checked the book name before posting. Reconnected is correct. And the book is more about reconnecting than unconnecting. :)
Thanks for the recommendation. I just downloaded Reconnected by Whittaker.
I have always found it odd how many folks have earphones on when walking in quiet places. I find listening to the earth to be the best listen. Thank you for this.
Thank you! This is a very helpful reminder to us all. Our world - and our lives - have become so noisy. In my psychotherapy practice, one of the most stubborn problems I encounter is people who are using their phones in addictive ways and, in the process, completely disengaging from their partners and children. The thought of leaving their phone behind, even in another room, causes panic. We work on mindfulness based stress reduction techniques, but it is a stretch for those who cannot be without stimulation for even a few seconds. Perhaps your reminder that we need “down” time to consolidate memories might be helpful because most of us can relate to the concern of diminished cognition.
I know it’s kind of ironic, but I discovered a hack for finding time to be human. It’s a way to use your phone to tell you when to stop using your phone.
Backing up a bit: I am a former workaholic whose work never really had an endpoint once my job became fully remote in 2020. I loved the extra time I got to spend at home instead of 2 hours in a car in round trip daily LA traffic, but those 2 hours changed from catching up on podcasts and news while commuting to just 2 more hours of work. I kept thinking that my work/life balance would improve the further out we got from Covid. But the work kept creeping into my nights and weekends, and kept getting worse. Like this essay mentioned, productivity just raised the bar instead of rewarding me with freedom. I started rationalizing it as an inherent tradeoff for the convenience of working at home. But I could tell my body was rejecting the constant stress.
Then my employer was bought by a larger corporation that eventually cut my pay, increased my tax burden, and took away my benefits. I calculated that it amounted to a 10% pay cut despite everything getting more expensive. And then everyone else on my team was laid off, forcing them into chronic unemployment like the rest of the TV industry. Meanwhile it was expected that I would work harder to make up for the lack of hands available to do the work of creating a TV show.
It was kind of the nudge I needed to take my work/life separation seriously. I realized that the only fair thing to do would be to cut back my hours by ten percent to mirror the cut in pay. But it was soooo hard to ignore the pull back to work. As a supervisor, it sometimes feels like doing so isn’t just a betrayal of the employer, but a betrayal of the workers who might be stuck and frustrated, depending on a response from me in order to work.
But then the other side of my brain reminds me: I’m not being paid enough to care, so stop caring! They should get only what they pay for. There used to be a time when my availability depended on whether I was physically in an office, and I needed to figure out a way to synthesize that dynamic again.
My hack: I went to my calendar app and put in recurring alerts for start work and end work, plus breaks between. I created a “focus” that hides alerts from work-related apps after hours. And I was honest with my coworkers about what I was doing so that I didn’t have to feel like explaining myself all the time.
It worked! I haven’t felt more free to pursue my hobbies and interests in a decade. Externalizing the pressure to clock out for the evening and take midday naps made it easier to remember to take care of myself. And it turns out that all of my coworkers are too wrapped up in their own panic to judge my mental health needs. The solution was there all along!
I used to think I could save the world if only I could find the time — if I could somehow work less while still affording a roof over my head. Now I’m spending an hour or two each day, researching ways to save the world and writing about it, and finding out that saving the world is pretty fun, as long as you go about it without letting the self-doubt creep in.
Perhaps this could be helpful for the other things in life other than work that creep into our “me time” that takes a backseat by default? I cringe whenever people pretend they have the one answer that will solve everyone’s problems, but it has really helped me. Hopefully it could be helpful for others.
Happy Holidays yall 🩷
As a retired teacher, I can relate to never being off. I loved my kids and my career, but I worked a crazy amount of hours for not enough pay, sacrificed myself and my family, because it was for the kids, right? But I had to beg for a day off to attend the funeral for a dear friend because she wasn’t a close relative. I won that fight, but why did I have to fight for it? What is wrong with us? Half of my career was long before computers and cell phones! It’s a symptom of American society and tech has made it worse.
Even in retirement, my pattern has not changed. This article is a reminder that we must.