I just came on here to say that I haven't read this yet, because I have two young adult trans daughters and my heart cannot take reading coverage about it yet. But I've saved it for when I am ready to read it, because I respect Sharon's ability to cover this topic and others in a fact-based, informative way.
For those of you reading this who don't know any trans people or their families, my girls are the kindest, sweetest, most creative and generous and smart and funny people. I think anyone reading this would love and appreciate them if they met them. They are not punchlines, they have good medical care by trained professional physicians and staff, and they deserve to live their lives as they are, without fear. One of them is terrified to use public restrooms because she's scared another woman will "scream at her." Do you know how much that limits a person's ability to exist in the world? Recently a woman yelled at a trans person in my town for existing. Just yelled at her. For existing.
This is not okay. We have to do better than this. We have to be better than this. If you're scared for children regretting transition, then explore that fear. Talk to people. Attend a PFLAG or Pride meeting and ask questions, face to face. Get off the meme machines and educate yourself rather than just giving in to blind fear that I believe was cynically manufactured to create that fear in people to generate votes. Please. We are real people, families, with hopes and dreams for the best possible future, just like you. If anyone reading this wants to ask me anything in good faith, please message me or ask here and I'll answer to the best of my ability.
Thanks for writing this. I have a trans kid who is a minor, so this ruling could affect us directly. It’s baffling to me that anyone would think that I, as an adult, and the mother of my son, does not have his best interests at heart. We did not go into treatment lightly. The idea that my right to determine his needs as his parent could be taken away, not to mention his absolute right to have the medicine he needs is unfathomable.
Thank you for sharing a small part of your story. I have no children and the results of this case will not directly affect me, but still...I am so upset by the implications of this case. It breaks my heart thinking of all the children and parents that will be affected. I will never understand the lack of empathy that allows things like this to take place in our country. Please know that there are many people who respect and support you and hope for only good things for you and your family.
I understand. I listened to the oral arguments and every time Kavanaugh opened his mouth, I wanted to scream. My child is an adult now so it doesn't affect him. But it would have. No one but a trans parent understands how terrifying it is to see the vitriol, in the media and otherwise, from people that have no clue and no interest in getting one.
Sending you and your girls much love. It sounds like your daughters are blessed to have an extraordinary mother. You should be proud of the young women you’ve raised, Toni.
Thank you, Laura. I am so proud of them. My husband and I watched the documentary Will and Harper and I cried when I realized that instead of having to wait until their mid-50s to come out as trans, they were able to do so in their teens. Things ARE changing, and progress IS happening. I try to hold onto that during times like this.
I feel this deicision should be left up to parents and their minor children. Once again, I don't think the government needs to stick their nose in this issue. There are so many highly important problems that impact children like guns, where they could truly make a difference, and yet they do nothing. Something that is a real threat to every day lives, where one's life could be lost, is somehow less important. How this is somehow more threatening than gun restrictions is mindblowing.
Can children, with parental consent, get a nose job? Or breast implants? If they answer is yes, then in my humble opinion, this too should fall under that catergory. A decision made with a parent, their doctor and child. If hormone therapy is that life threatening, how about we not offer it to women? Regret and joy are the chances we take with every decision.
I see this as just another conservative fear. Fear of someone different. Fear of not understanding or willingness to understand. Fear that it might impact birth rates. I don't know. It just doesn't make a lot of sense to me, but I'm sure I'll hear more in the comments. Maybe a view point that I never thought of?
Yes, the guns! I always come back to the guns. Don't tell me you care about protection children when you do nothing as they're hunted in their classrooms at horrifying rates. We have real life terror of real-life things happening to our real-life children. And yet, crickets.
I agree Sherry, that the decision should be left up to parents and their minor children. We should be able to make informed decisions about our health choices and our children’s- without the government dictating it.
I assume you wrote your remark with a straight face but how can you make such a statement when you voted for the very people who want to strip reproductive rights from women and whose campaigns spent almost a quarter billion dollars combined on ads targeting and invoking fear of transgender people, which is more than they spent on ads regarding housing, immigration, and the economy combined?
Unlike vaccinations, of course, which have ramifications for broader communal and public health, this case is rather limited to the care being received by specific individuals.
I wasn't intending to imply that you weren't being consistent in your reasoning! Only pointing out that the two are not perfectly comparable and IMO they do require different reasoning.
I can see that and agree. I just go back to my principle that the government shouldn’t be involved in making decisions about our bodies. I wish that we could look at solutions on how to support our kids in this situation, that don’t include government mandates. I don’t have the answers but think it could start with education.
I fully agree that conservatives are just stoking fear into peoples' minds yet again. It's the same tactic they have always used because it works. I am so worried for these children who are already struggling enough. Now they will become even more marginalized, demonized, and dehumanized. In Colorado, we are here to help: https://tcpipeline.org.
I find it interesting that Tennessee’s strict anti-abortion laws imply that a minor is prepared to navigate the life altering experience of pregnancy (potentially forced), childbirth, and then raising a child but simultaneously are incapable of making gender related medical decisions - whether or not they are permanent or life altering - about their own bodies. It’s one or the other.
I just wanted to say to any parents of trans kids reading this, there are so many of us out here who see you and care about you and your kids. You have many, many allies and we won’t stop fighting for your rights no matter how scotus rules.
I am familiar with the supposed studies they are referencing when they mention the supposed chance of harm versus benefits of puberty blockers, and it is so disheartening to see the Supreme Court, once again, claiming they cannot tell the difference between good and bad science.
It really cannot be more obvious: puberty blockers are a medicine that have been available without controversy for decades for other uses. It is only those who willfully ignore their benefits for transgender youth, and do not worry about transgender suicide rates, that can say with a straight face that these are at all dangerous. If they are dangerous enough to ban across the state, so are many medicines you purchase over the counter.
Also, I think someone should acknowledge there is a difference between a “regret” about a choice you were allowed to make versus a “regret” that the government prevented your child from getting lifesaving care. And no, that is not a real statistic. People who take puberty blockers almost never regret it. Their effects are still reversible when they turn 18!
The fact that these policies are coming from the same people who cry foul at any other way the government might step in between a parent’s choice for their children also tells you everything: this is 100% discrimination for politicians’ benefit.
My son Chris was born “failure to thrive,” and because he was “small for dates,” was prescribed puberty blockers in the 90’s. In the 90’s, they knew they were safe for children that needed time. Just like Chris needed time to grow into his potential height, and other kids need time to grow into their potential gender.
Unfortunately, Chris entered puberty before he began treatment. His adult height is 5’. I will be the first to tell you, timing is everything. Because you know what’s irreversible? Puberty.
Thank you for sharing this, Gina! I actually had never heard of the FTT term before this, and now I've learned something new. I was the shortest guy at my school of 1000 kids and am now not much taller than your son. There was certainly some psychological pain that came with falling short of the gendered expectations of what makes someone a man. Even though it doesn't ever get easy, at least for me it's now better than the torture of high school. I hope Chris has found some peace about his height. After all, there are many health benefits as we get older!
Thank you for sharing your experience. I have never heard Chris complain about his height. But it certainly has had and continues to have a major impact on his life, just like trans people denied the care they need to fully live their authentic lives.
And you know what else is wrong? Someone believing they were born the wrong gender…how does one decide they need to be a different one? Does one’s genitalia define their gender? If no, then how does removing it affirm one’s gender?
Yes, in fact, we have read comments from several mothers on just this thread who say that access to gender affirming care has saved their child’s life. And there are studies that prove it.
I think every single human being would benefit from therapy, for sure. It's so important. But I think your point is moot because any parent that is exploring medication and beyond for their child has likely already been going to therapists, don't you think?
Make sure you're taking care of yourself, too. It's a crazy world out there with people making all kinds of decisions that you wouldn't agree with. It can take a toll on you if you think about it too much.
Yes, my child absolutely went to therapy first. But maybe the only “proper” therapy in her eyes is the kind that results in my child no longer being trans.
Timothy - bless you for trying. I think some people who are commenting on this post don’t want to understand. I’ve wanted to try to explain, as one of those moms whose kid’s life was saved by gender affirming care, but I don’t think it will do any good.
I do not believe anyone is born in the wrong body. It doesn’t mean I have anything but love and compassion for those feeling this way. It is my prayer that all will receive the proper treatment for the mental illness causing these feelings., especially the young people.
The law’s clearly stated purpose to get kids to “appreciate their sex” and not be “disdainful of their sex” tips its hand that this is not at all about medical care but about perspective. This law is in no way even close to nuanced enough to tackle the varied and many layered concerns related to minor transgender care. I’m so disappointed this is even being argued as legitimate.
Thank you for covering this. I have a trans child. For us, there was really no decision because he came to us and told us he wanted to transition when he was almost 18 anyway. I have no idea how we would have handled things if we had known earlier, and my heart aches for the families who are trying to make difficult decisions about what is best for their child who are being told it’s not even their decision to make. I dislike Kavanaugh’s point about children transitioning and later regretting it. I’d rather be able to make a decision and regret it later knowing that at least I was following my own path than to have someone force the decision on me.
My trans daughter is 35 years old. She medically transitioned, first with hormones starting at 26 (which she continues to take), then with top and bottom surgery a few years later. This care has literally saved her life. She struggled with depression in high school, mostly due to her living in a body that didn’t match up with her true self. Would it have been an easy decision for her dad and I, along with medical professionals, to have her start on hormone therapy as a teenager? Maybe, maybe not, but I want that option to be available for ALL kids and their parents. It is imperative.
Trans people have always existed and will always exist. What it comes down to for me is that every person knows who *they* are better than anyone else does. These decisions are made thoughtfully with their parents and their doctors and who am I as a stranger to tell them what they should or shouldn't do? I believe everyone should be allowed to live a life that is true to themselves and makes them feel at peace. The uproar about this is simply due to political demonization by a party who needed to give their base a common enemy. Trans people are beautiful and deserve better.
Are parents still able to get surgeries for babies who are born intersex? For those commenting about regret later on about transitioning, check out stories from people who were born intersex and whose parents chose to have gender affirming surgeries for them. Many seem to be ignoring the many barriers that parents and kids have to jump through to get to the point of medication. No one is forcing this care on anyone. Kids aren't transitioning cuz it's trendy. It takes a lot of courage for these kids to speak their truth, many are not supported and many are ostracized within their families or communities. Many of the people citing these studies that claim that people later regret transitioning fail to read further that the reason WHY many regret transitioning is many times because it led to being bullied, left out or shunned by family, friends or community. Not necessarily because they regret transitioning themselves but they regret how their decision affected how people treated them. Also - there are MANY things we do as teens or young adults that we may regret. Sometimes it has lasting effects on us and sometimes it doesn't. Rarely are those decisions carefully considered by both you, your doctor and your parents. Many of you are ignoring the vast amount of care that these patients are receiving, much of it time spent in therapy prior to starting any medical treatments. And for those that claimed we have laws against children getting married as an example of not letting kids make big decisions... that's actually not true. Child marriage remains legal in 37 states - https://www.unchainedatlast.org/child-marriage-in-the-u-s/. I would much rather see our politicians spending their time on banning child marriages than having anything to do with gender affirming care.
I know, what we need is a need is a powerless infinitely small minority to demonize and dehumanize to fire up the base to give us more power to take away people's rights. Then we keep breaking off parts of the population using different criteria to marginalize them and take away their rights one by one.
What really disgusts me is anyone who is OK with kind of bullying of a small powerless and wholly innocent small minority.
Protecting children my ass. How about making sure they are fed and housed and not shot in schools.
I had a chance to listen live to much of this case's oral arguments yesterday (I like to hear the tone and tenor of the questioning and the arguments in addition to reading about it). For anyone who is interested, both the audio and the transcript are now available at the Supreme Court's website: https://www.supremecourt.gov/oral_arguments/oral_arguments.aspx.
Thanks for explaining the case, Sharon. I believe laws like this are aimed at protecting and not discriminating. Too many teens are pushed into transitioning and making life altering decisions when their gender dysphoria should be treated as the psychological disorder that it is. These disorders need to be treated with great compassion. I never knew a trans person for the first 30 years of my life. I do not believe there is now an epidemic. Some regulation needs to protect kids from making decisions with huge consequences until they are into adulthood.
Hey Tonya, thanks for sharing your perspective. I can see that you're approaching the issue with compassion, which is very important. But there are some problems with your reasoning: 1) when you say "I never knew a trans person for the first 30 years of my life" I think what you're saying is that you think this has suddenly become a fad that people aren't taking seriously enough to know who they are. But what you're witnessing is people becoming more comfortable coming out as trans. Just like people in the 1950s would be wrong to think they didn't know any gay people, you are wrong to think you didn't know any transgender people in the 1980s. I do not know where you live, but if you grew up around trans people, they probably moved somewhere else that they felt safe as soon as they were able to. 2) when you say "pushed into transitioning" that doesn't line up with any of what I have observed in life or in reporting. I would recommend listening to more people talk about their experience coming out as transgender as a child. I think the most you'll find is people being compassionate and supportive, but I have never, ever heard of someone being pushed into gender-affirming care that they weren't begging for.
Thanks for your thoughtful reply. I appreciate your perspective as well. You can easily find sad stories of regret of detransitioners that will break your heart.
Hi Tonya. I would ask you to try and step into the shoes of the parent of trans kid. Consider having a child who is struggling with gender dysphoria and many of the things that come with it like self-harm and suicidal ideation. Consider how truly terrifying and heartbreaking it is to watch your child struggle with this, and how genuinely you would want to help them. You take your child to doctors, they get a therapist with experience in gender dysphoria. You do research to understand, you ask your child questions, and you let them know you love them at every step. You're on a journey with your child, doing the best you can. At no point along the way will a doctor or therapist "push" your child into transitioning. These are medical professionals who also care about their patients. They will listen to you and your child, just as doctors do for all their patients with anything they are dealing with. They will evaluate their mental and physical health needs, again just like they do with all their patients. They will make referrals to doctors in this area of expertise, just like they would if you needed any kind of specialist. Those specialists will work with you and your child for a very long time before turning to medications, if it comes to that. They will discuss them in detail, how they will affect the child, how they will help, what the potential side effects will be. They will make sure the child is old enough to fully understand and participate in this decision. This is the reality of how this type of medical care works.
Finally I ask you to consider the statistics on trans suicide rates. They are so high because so many trans folks don't have support at home, at school, with peers, etc, and because they are targeted and most definitely discriminated against over and over and over. You are correct that it involves mental health journey, but trans children and their parents deserve to get the treatment they NEED and to go on that journey, even if a tiny handful of them end up regretting it. At least they will be alive with a regret, rather than dead. Having a dead child is far more heartbreaking than having a child who wants to detransition, wouldn't you agree?
Those stories of regret exist, and I do not minimize the pain of gender dysphoria in all of its forms, but you should ask yourself why you are highlighting the stories of someone regretting their own decision, and not highlighting the dangers of the government making the decision for everyone.
Also, remember that puberty blockers are also being banned, despite the fact that their effects are reversible if they stop taking them.
Is that not a parent’s job rather than the government’s job? What I’m hearing you say here is not “kids make bad choices,” but rather, “parents can’t be trusted to help their kids, so the government must force this.”
Except that some medical providers push people into medical treatment that is not in the best interest of the child long term. And in some cases parental rights are being stripped. There are greedy people in this movement only seeking money and power. The stories of people detransitioning and regretting the forever decisions they’ve made (and most often didn’t understand at the time) are as heart wrenching as anything.
It sounds like you are saying there are bad actors within the medical field and if that's the case, then this should be taken up within the medical field. Maybe there should be more guidance in regard to the process or maybe people who feel wronged need to sue the doctor for malpractice. The answer shouldn't be, well, if this doctor did me wrong, let's make it illegal for everyone.
People will always regret medical procedures. I would venture to guess that more people "regret" back surgery or a nose job or any number of other treatments than ones who regret gender affirming care, but we shouldn't make laws based on the minority.
I respect and feel for people that have detransitioned. But we should not put more weight on their stories than on the stories of the majority who remain transitioned and are pleased with their transition. The statistics and evidence show that the regret rate for transitioning is much, much smaller than for most other medical treatments. The statistics and evidence also indicate that far more people are told to wait for medical transition than are pushed into it.
Most importantly, an outright ban is not the answer to your concerns. If the legislature is really concerned about medical malpractice, they would take a much more nuanced approach (i.e. at what age do hormones create irreversible concerns, at what age is breast surgery allowable, at what age are puberty blockers helpful and at what age should they be stopped). Instead, Tennessee has created a law that bans outright based on "appreciation" for sex.
Thank you for your comments Tonya. First and foremost, any child experiencing gender dysphoria deserves to be treated with dignity and humanity. They deserve care and compassion from the adults - family and medical - in their lives. Where I think the discussion moves into much more nuanced deliberation is when the care moves into therapeutic (including medication/surgical) interventions before a certain age. Some assert that a gold standard of care exists that is settled science, and some assert that the science is in fact not settled and needs further study. If that decision should rest solely with the parent and child, should public schools (which are government entities) be banned from withholding gender-related information from parents, or is that sort of government 'interference' acceptable? And what if both parents don't agree, what then? Is 8 too young but 14 is okay? I lean toward some regulation is necessary. The Tennessee case is about their ban, and I don't know that that's the right level of regulation for *all* minors (unless I've missed an age reference in the case?). In other words, an all-or-nothing seems too broad on either side of this discussion.
I also have a trans identifiying kid and have decided not to pursue medical care. This is something he can decide to do as an adult. Please read the Cass Review. These interventions are not reversible and I do not believe a child can make these decisions. I would never forgive myself if my son asked me as an adult why did you let me do this. It is the hardest thing we have ever done because the trans activists are just horrible to people that question this, but I do believe in the future we will look back on this as the biggest medical scandal in recent history. To be frank, genital mutilation and sterilization of children is usually thought to be bad.
Firstly, let me say that I do not doubt that you have scoured the studies already and taken this very seriously. I cannot imagine the strength it must take to be put in this position: some people would say you're a bad mother for providing access to care, and others would say you're a bad mother for prohibiting it. Thankfully it sounds like you are putting your child's welfare first, despite whatever the public says.
I just wanted to offer some counterpoint. I did read the Cass review, and I have also read opinions that criticize it. Specifically when it comes to puberty blockers, which really should be the focus of this discussion because it is safe, studied, reversible, and way more common than anything that could be called mutilation.
The Cass review says that blockers aren't good because there isn't enough evidence to support its efficacy. It explicitly says that any adverse longterm effects are unknown. It ignores the fact that this medicine has been used for decades to treat precocious puberty, and therefore their stance is not that the medicine is known to be bad, it's just that they do not think gender dysphoria is as serious of a health problem as precocious puberty.
They say without randomized controlled trials, they would never endorse their use. But that ignores a few things:
1) Having kids take a placebo in place of blockers would be harmful in itself. Could you imagine telling a kid they have coin toss of a chance of having their life saved? I do not think we will ever have randomized controlled trials for puberty blockers on children.
2) There is at least one study that examines the next-best thing: they surveyed 272 adolescents with gender dysphoria, some of whom received blockers and some of whom didn't, and compared them to a control group of adolescents who are cisgender. They did find consistent evidence that all kids with gender dysphoria were more depressed and suicidal than those that weren't (prior to any treatment), but that the kids that later received blockers were able to get much closer to the healthy control group, and those who didn't receive the blockers suffered at significantly higher rates.
3) Lastly, using my experience of a gay man who was once a gay kid... There's just an incalculable amount of harm that you can receive as a kid in a world that is debating whether your existence is valid. Even though I didn't ever desire to get married, I remember the pain of hearing people around me, people who I loved, talk about how gay marriage would tarnish the institution itself. Thankfully back then I didn't have a presidential candidate running millions of dollars of ads that basically said that I was evil, which is what happened to trans kids watching TV this year.
So I share this experience just to say: even if we were to find out that blockers were no different than a placebo (even though science does say it's very helpful), let's consider the benefit of feeling like the world cares about you and your well-being. Doing what we can, even if not a miracle cure, would at least tell the child that they are valued. By contrast, if I were a trans kid right now, I think the rhetoric of politicians would be compounding an already difficult and life-threatening situation.
Tim, I appreciate many of your comments here and think you do have quite a bit of knowledge and experience to share. However, would you agree that make and female perspectives are different? From the standpoint of surgery, mastectomies seem to be a common one in the transition from female to male. I have seen this and generally they are not performed by the most qualified plastic surgeons. They instead are left with horrific scars that have mutilated their bodies. There is no going back from that. A minor cannot begin to comprehend the magnitude of that decision.
Hi Ton! I actually don't have any experience to share about the topic of surgeries. But it kinda doesn't feel like my business. As someone has mentioned in another comment, we might disagree with parents getting their child rhinoplasty for purely aesthetic reasons, but if a parent, child and doctor are all in agreement about it, who am I, or you, to step in?
Of course I can think of situations in which a child will end up regretting a surgery, but I prefer a world where their later resentment is directed toward the responsible parent(s), not the government who prohibited care that would have ended up being beneficial. In a country where we seem to be allergic to government overreach, I can't really think of anything more invasive than them stepping between consenting people and their physicians.
I also wonder where you came to the conclusion that "generally they are not performed by the most qualified plastic surgeons" because anytime I've seen a shirtless trans man, they've looked great. "Horrific" and "mutilated" might be coming from your gut reaction more than their experience. Even if there were a problem with some surgeons being generally bad at their job, which I don't see evidence of, I don't see that as a reason to ban the procedure for everyone. It seems like you're saying we need to make the procedure less stigmatized so that even our best surgeons are assisting.
And this is where puberty blockers are a useful tool. If people don't grow breasts in the first place, no surgery would be necessary.
I'm genuinely glad you have the ability to work with your child and their medical team to make the choice that's right for your child. That choice should be available to all parents. While I can hear and feel sorry for your pain in dealing with pushback from the trans activist community, I hope you can also understand that accusing parents of "genital mutilation and sterilization" is equally as painful and accusatory. All parents are just doing their best to do right by their child in a world that is not generally accepting of differences. You ought to be able to extend the same empathy to them as you hope to receive.
You just composed the most sensible post on this thread! It is an agenda and it is so sad to watch. The hypocrisy of those for children receiving “transitional” procedures and Rx are also the ones (for the most part) that have no problem with abortions being performed on the unborn. I don’t understand the rationale.
And I am truly sad for you and your daughter and it is my prayer that anyone in the same position would find healing. My concern with the case currently before SCOTUS lies in allowing young people whose brains are not even fully developed to make life-altering and often irreversible decisions to their bodies. While there are those in the medical field that will agree with and perform such procedures, it still doesn’t make it the right thing to do. We only need to look back to the 1950-60 era and how some in the profession performed lobotomies. It is my fear history could repeat if SCOTUS doesn’t do the correct thing.
I am not in agreement with any procedures or blockers or hormones given to underage persons (children). I invite you to listen to Allie B Stuckley’s recent interview with Jamie Reed. It can be found on YouTube or her Podcast Relatable episode #1109. I agree with Allie and Jamie that much of what is being done in the name of “care” to these young people is actually criminal and solely for profit.
My neighbor of 20 years is trans. Last night I knocked on her door to give her a hug. I just knew she needed it. She about collapsed in my arms while sobbing. Trans people will ALWAYS have a safe place with me regardless of what misguided hate comes out of our government buildings.
Reading this article and these comments is making my stomach turn. It’s heartbreaking what our elected officials are doing to the trans community. Creating enemies out human beings who deserve to live their lives freely. The government needs to stay out of the way of our personal decisions and the Supreme Court has no business making medical decisions they don’t understand. My heart goes out to everyone impacted.
I just came on here to say that I haven't read this yet, because I have two young adult trans daughters and my heart cannot take reading coverage about it yet. But I've saved it for when I am ready to read it, because I respect Sharon's ability to cover this topic and others in a fact-based, informative way.
For those of you reading this who don't know any trans people or their families, my girls are the kindest, sweetest, most creative and generous and smart and funny people. I think anyone reading this would love and appreciate them if they met them. They are not punchlines, they have good medical care by trained professional physicians and staff, and they deserve to live their lives as they are, without fear. One of them is terrified to use public restrooms because she's scared another woman will "scream at her." Do you know how much that limits a person's ability to exist in the world? Recently a woman yelled at a trans person in my town for existing. Just yelled at her. For existing.
This is not okay. We have to do better than this. We have to be better than this. If you're scared for children regretting transition, then explore that fear. Talk to people. Attend a PFLAG or Pride meeting and ask questions, face to face. Get off the meme machines and educate yourself rather than just giving in to blind fear that I believe was cynically manufactured to create that fear in people to generate votes. Please. We are real people, families, with hopes and dreams for the best possible future, just like you. If anyone reading this wants to ask me anything in good faith, please message me or ask here and I'll answer to the best of my ability.
Thanks for writing this. I have a trans kid who is a minor, so this ruling could affect us directly. It’s baffling to me that anyone would think that I, as an adult, and the mother of my son, does not have his best interests at heart. We did not go into treatment lightly. The idea that my right to determine his needs as his parent could be taken away, not to mention his absolute right to have the medicine he needs is unfathomable.
Thinking of you both. These are NOT easy decisions and parents like us don't make them lightly.
I just want to voice my solidarity with you as the mother of a trans daughter. 💕 Thank you for your words!
Thanks, Kristin. I will never stop believing a better, kinder, more humane world is possible for our families.
Thank you for sharing a small part of your story. I have no children and the results of this case will not directly affect me, but still...I am so upset by the implications of this case. It breaks my heart thinking of all the children and parents that will be affected. I will never understand the lack of empathy that allows things like this to take place in our country. Please know that there are many people who respect and support you and hope for only good things for you and your family.
Gail, I appreciate your words very much. Thank you.
I understand. I listened to the oral arguments and every time Kavanaugh opened his mouth, I wanted to scream. My child is an adult now so it doesn't affect him. But it would have. No one but a trans parent understands how terrifying it is to see the vitriol, in the media and otherwise, from people that have no clue and no interest in getting one.
Agreed, Erin. I share your pain and fear. Let's keep fighting for a better world.
Sending you and your girls much love. It sounds like your daughters are blessed to have an extraordinary mother. You should be proud of the young women you’ve raised, Toni.
Thank you, Laura. I am so proud of them. My husband and I watched the documentary Will and Harper and I cried when I realized that instead of having to wait until their mid-50s to come out as trans, they were able to do so in their teens. Things ARE changing, and progress IS happening. I try to hold onto that during times like this.
I feel this deicision should be left up to parents and their minor children. Once again, I don't think the government needs to stick their nose in this issue. There are so many highly important problems that impact children like guns, where they could truly make a difference, and yet they do nothing. Something that is a real threat to every day lives, where one's life could be lost, is somehow less important. How this is somehow more threatening than gun restrictions is mindblowing.
Can children, with parental consent, get a nose job? Or breast implants? If they answer is yes, then in my humble opinion, this too should fall under that catergory. A decision made with a parent, their doctor and child. If hormone therapy is that life threatening, how about we not offer it to women? Regret and joy are the chances we take with every decision.
I see this as just another conservative fear. Fear of someone different. Fear of not understanding or willingness to understand. Fear that it might impact birth rates. I don't know. It just doesn't make a lot of sense to me, but I'm sure I'll hear more in the comments. Maybe a view point that I never thought of?
Yes, the guns! I always come back to the guns. Don't tell me you care about protection children when you do nothing as they're hunted in their classrooms at horrifying rates. We have real life terror of real-life things happening to our real-life children. And yet, crickets.
I agree Sherry, that the decision should be left up to parents and their minor children. We should be able to make informed decisions about our health choices and our children’s- without the government dictating it.
I assume you wrote your remark with a straight face but how can you make such a statement when you voted for the very people who want to strip reproductive rights from women and whose campaigns spent almost a quarter billion dollars combined on ads targeting and invoking fear of transgender people, which is more than they spent on ads regarding housing, immigration, and the economy combined?
Unlike vaccinations, of course, which have ramifications for broader communal and public health, this case is rather limited to the care being received by specific individuals.
I am consistent- I don’t think government should be involved in any decisions on what we do with our bodies (and our minor children).
I wasn't intending to imply that you weren't being consistent in your reasoning! Only pointing out that the two are not perfectly comparable and IMO they do require different reasoning.
I can see that and agree. I just go back to my principle that the government shouldn’t be involved in making decisions about our bodies. I wish that we could look at solutions on how to support our kids in this situation, that don’t include government mandates. I don’t have the answers but think it could start with education.
I fully agree that conservatives are just stoking fear into peoples' minds yet again. It's the same tactic they have always used because it works. I am so worried for these children who are already struggling enough. Now they will become even more marginalized, demonized, and dehumanized. In Colorado, we are here to help: https://tcpipeline.org.
“Regret and joy are the chances we take with every decision.” Such powerful and true words!
I find it interesting that Tennessee’s strict anti-abortion laws imply that a minor is prepared to navigate the life altering experience of pregnancy (potentially forced), childbirth, and then raising a child but simultaneously are incapable of making gender related medical decisions - whether or not they are permanent or life altering - about their own bodies. It’s one or the other.
I had that EXACT thought when I read that part. It boggles the mind....
It’s a sad illustration of the fact that none of these laws are really about protecting life or children but rather a matter of control.
I just wanted to say to any parents of trans kids reading this, there are so many of us out here who see you and care about you and your kids. You have many, many allies and we won’t stop fighting for your rights no matter how scotus rules.
Thank you, Stephanie. Comments like yours help so much.
I am familiar with the supposed studies they are referencing when they mention the supposed chance of harm versus benefits of puberty blockers, and it is so disheartening to see the Supreme Court, once again, claiming they cannot tell the difference between good and bad science.
It really cannot be more obvious: puberty blockers are a medicine that have been available without controversy for decades for other uses. It is only those who willfully ignore their benefits for transgender youth, and do not worry about transgender suicide rates, that can say with a straight face that these are at all dangerous. If they are dangerous enough to ban across the state, so are many medicines you purchase over the counter.
Also, I think someone should acknowledge there is a difference between a “regret” about a choice you were allowed to make versus a “regret” that the government prevented your child from getting lifesaving care. And no, that is not a real statistic. People who take puberty blockers almost never regret it. Their effects are still reversible when they turn 18!
The fact that these policies are coming from the same people who cry foul at any other way the government might step in between a parent’s choice for their children also tells you everything: this is 100% discrimination for politicians’ benefit.
My son Chris was born “failure to thrive,” and because he was “small for dates,” was prescribed puberty blockers in the 90’s. In the 90’s, they knew they were safe for children that needed time. Just like Chris needed time to grow into his potential height, and other kids need time to grow into their potential gender.
Unfortunately, Chris entered puberty before he began treatment. His adult height is 5’. I will be the first to tell you, timing is everything. Because you know what’s irreversible? Puberty.
Thank you for sharing this, Gina! I actually had never heard of the FTT term before this, and now I've learned something new. I was the shortest guy at my school of 1000 kids and am now not much taller than your son. There was certainly some psychological pain that came with falling short of the gendered expectations of what makes someone a man. Even though it doesn't ever get easy, at least for me it's now better than the torture of high school. I hope Chris has found some peace about his height. After all, there are many health benefits as we get older!
Thank you for sharing your experience. I have never heard Chris complain about his height. But it certainly has had and continues to have a major impact on his life, just like trans people denied the care they need to fully live their authentic lives.
And you know what else is wrong? Someone believing they were born the wrong gender…how does one decide they need to be a different one? Does one’s genitalia define their gender? If no, then how does removing it affirm one’s gender?
And, surgery removing body parts…
btw. excellent reporting in this podcast by Science Vs: https://pca.st/episode/2565d2cd-2f05-4546-8208-d49effe651f0
“Lifesaving”??
Yes, in fact, we have read comments from several mothers on just this thread who say that access to gender affirming care has saved their child’s life. And there are studies that prove it.
Maybe proper therapy would be a better choice.
I think every single human being would benefit from therapy, for sure. It's so important. But I think your point is moot because any parent that is exploring medication and beyond for their child has likely already been going to therapists, don't you think?
Make sure you're taking care of yourself, too. It's a crazy world out there with people making all kinds of decisions that you wouldn't agree with. It can take a toll on you if you think about it too much.
Yes, my child absolutely went to therapy first. But maybe the only “proper” therapy in her eyes is the kind that results in my child no longer being trans.
Timothy - bless you for trying. I think some people who are commenting on this post don’t want to understand. I’ve wanted to try to explain, as one of those moms whose kid’s life was saved by gender affirming care, but I don’t think it will do any good.
I do not believe anyone is born in the wrong body. It doesn’t mean I have anything but love and compassion for those feeling this way. It is my prayer that all will receive the proper treatment for the mental illness causing these feelings., especially the young people.
Thanks for your advice but I have no worries! I guard my heart and my mental health.
The law’s clearly stated purpose to get kids to “appreciate their sex” and not be “disdainful of their sex” tips its hand that this is not at all about medical care but about perspective. This law is in no way even close to nuanced enough to tackle the varied and many layered concerns related to minor transgender care. I’m so disappointed this is even being argued as legitimate.
Thank you for covering this. I have a trans child. For us, there was really no decision because he came to us and told us he wanted to transition when he was almost 18 anyway. I have no idea how we would have handled things if we had known earlier, and my heart aches for the families who are trying to make difficult decisions about what is best for their child who are being told it’s not even their decision to make. I dislike Kavanaugh’s point about children transitioning and later regretting it. I’d rather be able to make a decision and regret it later knowing that at least I was following my own path than to have someone force the decision on me.
My trans daughter is 35 years old. She medically transitioned, first with hormones starting at 26 (which she continues to take), then with top and bottom surgery a few years later. This care has literally saved her life. She struggled with depression in high school, mostly due to her living in a body that didn’t match up with her true self. Would it have been an easy decision for her dad and I, along with medical professionals, to have her start on hormone therapy as a teenager? Maybe, maybe not, but I want that option to be available for ALL kids and their parents. It is imperative.
Trans people have always existed and will always exist. What it comes down to for me is that every person knows who *they* are better than anyone else does. These decisions are made thoughtfully with their parents and their doctors and who am I as a stranger to tell them what they should or shouldn't do? I believe everyone should be allowed to live a life that is true to themselves and makes them feel at peace. The uproar about this is simply due to political demonization by a party who needed to give their base a common enemy. Trans people are beautiful and deserve better.
Are parents still able to get surgeries for babies who are born intersex? For those commenting about regret later on about transitioning, check out stories from people who were born intersex and whose parents chose to have gender affirming surgeries for them. Many seem to be ignoring the many barriers that parents and kids have to jump through to get to the point of medication. No one is forcing this care on anyone. Kids aren't transitioning cuz it's trendy. It takes a lot of courage for these kids to speak their truth, many are not supported and many are ostracized within their families or communities. Many of the people citing these studies that claim that people later regret transitioning fail to read further that the reason WHY many regret transitioning is many times because it led to being bullied, left out or shunned by family, friends or community. Not necessarily because they regret transitioning themselves but they regret how their decision affected how people treated them. Also - there are MANY things we do as teens or young adults that we may regret. Sometimes it has lasting effects on us and sometimes it doesn't. Rarely are those decisions carefully considered by both you, your doctor and your parents. Many of you are ignoring the vast amount of care that these patients are receiving, much of it time spent in therapy prior to starting any medical treatments. And for those that claimed we have laws against children getting married as an example of not letting kids make big decisions... that's actually not true. Child marriage remains legal in 37 states - https://www.unchainedatlast.org/child-marriage-in-the-u-s/. I would much rather see our politicians spending their time on banning child marriages than having anything to do with gender affirming care.
I know, what we need is a need is a powerless infinitely small minority to demonize and dehumanize to fire up the base to give us more power to take away people's rights. Then we keep breaking off parts of the population using different criteria to marginalize them and take away their rights one by one.
What really disgusts me is anyone who is OK with kind of bullying of a small powerless and wholly innocent small minority.
Protecting children my ass. How about making sure they are fed and housed and not shot in schools.
I had a chance to listen live to much of this case's oral arguments yesterday (I like to hear the tone and tenor of the questioning and the arguments in addition to reading about it). For anyone who is interested, both the audio and the transcript are now available at the Supreme Court's website: https://www.supremecourt.gov/oral_arguments/oral_arguments.aspx.
Thank you for sharing the link! I’ll give it a listen!
Thanks for explaining the case, Sharon. I believe laws like this are aimed at protecting and not discriminating. Too many teens are pushed into transitioning and making life altering decisions when their gender dysphoria should be treated as the psychological disorder that it is. These disorders need to be treated with great compassion. I never knew a trans person for the first 30 years of my life. I do not believe there is now an epidemic. Some regulation needs to protect kids from making decisions with huge consequences until they are into adulthood.
Hey Tonya, thanks for sharing your perspective. I can see that you're approaching the issue with compassion, which is very important. But there are some problems with your reasoning: 1) when you say "I never knew a trans person for the first 30 years of my life" I think what you're saying is that you think this has suddenly become a fad that people aren't taking seriously enough to know who they are. But what you're witnessing is people becoming more comfortable coming out as trans. Just like people in the 1950s would be wrong to think they didn't know any gay people, you are wrong to think you didn't know any transgender people in the 1980s. I do not know where you live, but if you grew up around trans people, they probably moved somewhere else that they felt safe as soon as they were able to. 2) when you say "pushed into transitioning" that doesn't line up with any of what I have observed in life or in reporting. I would recommend listening to more people talk about their experience coming out as transgender as a child. I think the most you'll find is people being compassionate and supportive, but I have never, ever heard of someone being pushed into gender-affirming care that they weren't begging for.
Thanks for your thoughtful reply. I appreciate your perspective as well. You can easily find sad stories of regret of detransitioners that will break your heart.
Hi Tonya. I would ask you to try and step into the shoes of the parent of trans kid. Consider having a child who is struggling with gender dysphoria and many of the things that come with it like self-harm and suicidal ideation. Consider how truly terrifying and heartbreaking it is to watch your child struggle with this, and how genuinely you would want to help them. You take your child to doctors, they get a therapist with experience in gender dysphoria. You do research to understand, you ask your child questions, and you let them know you love them at every step. You're on a journey with your child, doing the best you can. At no point along the way will a doctor or therapist "push" your child into transitioning. These are medical professionals who also care about their patients. They will listen to you and your child, just as doctors do for all their patients with anything they are dealing with. They will evaluate their mental and physical health needs, again just like they do with all their patients. They will make referrals to doctors in this area of expertise, just like they would if you needed any kind of specialist. Those specialists will work with you and your child for a very long time before turning to medications, if it comes to that. They will discuss them in detail, how they will affect the child, how they will help, what the potential side effects will be. They will make sure the child is old enough to fully understand and participate in this decision. This is the reality of how this type of medical care works.
Finally I ask you to consider the statistics on trans suicide rates. They are so high because so many trans folks don't have support at home, at school, with peers, etc, and because they are targeted and most definitely discriminated against over and over and over. You are correct that it involves mental health journey, but trans children and their parents deserve to get the treatment they NEED and to go on that journey, even if a tiny handful of them end up regretting it. At least they will be alive with a regret, rather than dead. Having a dead child is far more heartbreaking than having a child who wants to detransition, wouldn't you agree?
Those stories of regret exist, and I do not minimize the pain of gender dysphoria in all of its forms, but you should ask yourself why you are highlighting the stories of someone regretting their own decision, and not highlighting the dangers of the government making the decision for everyone.
Also, remember that puberty blockers are also being banned, despite the fact that their effects are reversible if they stop taking them.
Is that not a parent’s job rather than the government’s job? What I’m hearing you say here is not “kids make bad choices,” but rather, “parents can’t be trusted to help their kids, so the government must force this.”
Except that some medical providers push people into medical treatment that is not in the best interest of the child long term. And in some cases parental rights are being stripped. There are greedy people in this movement only seeking money and power. The stories of people detransitioning and regretting the forever decisions they’ve made (and most often didn’t understand at the time) are as heart wrenching as anything.
It sounds like you are saying there are bad actors within the medical field and if that's the case, then this should be taken up within the medical field. Maybe there should be more guidance in regard to the process or maybe people who feel wronged need to sue the doctor for malpractice. The answer shouldn't be, well, if this doctor did me wrong, let's make it illegal for everyone.
People will always regret medical procedures. I would venture to guess that more people "regret" back surgery or a nose job or any number of other treatments than ones who regret gender affirming care, but we shouldn't make laws based on the minority.
I respect and feel for people that have detransitioned. But we should not put more weight on their stories than on the stories of the majority who remain transitioned and are pleased with their transition. The statistics and evidence show that the regret rate for transitioning is much, much smaller than for most other medical treatments. The statistics and evidence also indicate that far more people are told to wait for medical transition than are pushed into it.
Most importantly, an outright ban is not the answer to your concerns. If the legislature is really concerned about medical malpractice, they would take a much more nuanced approach (i.e. at what age do hormones create irreversible concerns, at what age is breast surgery allowable, at what age are puberty blockers helpful and at what age should they be stopped). Instead, Tennessee has created a law that bans outright based on "appreciation" for sex.
Thank you for your comments Tonya. First and foremost, any child experiencing gender dysphoria deserves to be treated with dignity and humanity. They deserve care and compassion from the adults - family and medical - in their lives. Where I think the discussion moves into much more nuanced deliberation is when the care moves into therapeutic (including medication/surgical) interventions before a certain age. Some assert that a gold standard of care exists that is settled science, and some assert that the science is in fact not settled and needs further study. If that decision should rest solely with the parent and child, should public schools (which are government entities) be banned from withholding gender-related information from parents, or is that sort of government 'interference' acceptable? And what if both parents don't agree, what then? Is 8 too young but 14 is okay? I lean toward some regulation is necessary. The Tennessee case is about their ban, and I don't know that that's the right level of regulation for *all* minors (unless I've missed an age reference in the case?). In other words, an all-or-nothing seems too broad on either side of this discussion.
Great points, Tammy.
Yes!!🙌
I also have a trans identifiying kid and have decided not to pursue medical care. This is something he can decide to do as an adult. Please read the Cass Review. These interventions are not reversible and I do not believe a child can make these decisions. I would never forgive myself if my son asked me as an adult why did you let me do this. It is the hardest thing we have ever done because the trans activists are just horrible to people that question this, but I do believe in the future we will look back on this as the biggest medical scandal in recent history. To be frank, genital mutilation and sterilization of children is usually thought to be bad.
Firstly, let me say that I do not doubt that you have scoured the studies already and taken this very seriously. I cannot imagine the strength it must take to be put in this position: some people would say you're a bad mother for providing access to care, and others would say you're a bad mother for prohibiting it. Thankfully it sounds like you are putting your child's welfare first, despite whatever the public says.
I just wanted to offer some counterpoint. I did read the Cass review, and I have also read opinions that criticize it. Specifically when it comes to puberty blockers, which really should be the focus of this discussion because it is safe, studied, reversible, and way more common than anything that could be called mutilation.
The Cass review says that blockers aren't good because there isn't enough evidence to support its efficacy. It explicitly says that any adverse longterm effects are unknown. It ignores the fact that this medicine has been used for decades to treat precocious puberty, and therefore their stance is not that the medicine is known to be bad, it's just that they do not think gender dysphoria is as serious of a health problem as precocious puberty.
They say without randomized controlled trials, they would never endorse their use. But that ignores a few things:
1) Having kids take a placebo in place of blockers would be harmful in itself. Could you imagine telling a kid they have coin toss of a chance of having their life saved? I do not think we will ever have randomized controlled trials for puberty blockers on children.
2) There is at least one study that examines the next-best thing: they surveyed 272 adolescents with gender dysphoria, some of whom received blockers and some of whom didn't, and compared them to a control group of adolescents who are cisgender. They did find consistent evidence that all kids with gender dysphoria were more depressed and suicidal than those that weren't (prior to any treatment), but that the kids that later received blockers were able to get much closer to the healthy control group, and those who didn't receive the blockers suffered at significantly higher rates.
Here's that study: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1054139X20300276
3) Lastly, using my experience of a gay man who was once a gay kid... There's just an incalculable amount of harm that you can receive as a kid in a world that is debating whether your existence is valid. Even though I didn't ever desire to get married, I remember the pain of hearing people around me, people who I loved, talk about how gay marriage would tarnish the institution itself. Thankfully back then I didn't have a presidential candidate running millions of dollars of ads that basically said that I was evil, which is what happened to trans kids watching TV this year.
So I share this experience just to say: even if we were to find out that blockers were no different than a placebo (even though science does say it's very helpful), let's consider the benefit of feeling like the world cares about you and your well-being. Doing what we can, even if not a miracle cure, would at least tell the child that they are valued. By contrast, if I were a trans kid right now, I think the rhetoric of politicians would be compounding an already difficult and life-threatening situation.
Tim, I appreciate many of your comments here and think you do have quite a bit of knowledge and experience to share. However, would you agree that make and female perspectives are different? From the standpoint of surgery, mastectomies seem to be a common one in the transition from female to male. I have seen this and generally they are not performed by the most qualified plastic surgeons. They instead are left with horrific scars that have mutilated their bodies. There is no going back from that. A minor cannot begin to comprehend the magnitude of that decision.
Hi Ton! I actually don't have any experience to share about the topic of surgeries. But it kinda doesn't feel like my business. As someone has mentioned in another comment, we might disagree with parents getting their child rhinoplasty for purely aesthetic reasons, but if a parent, child and doctor are all in agreement about it, who am I, or you, to step in?
Of course I can think of situations in which a child will end up regretting a surgery, but I prefer a world where their later resentment is directed toward the responsible parent(s), not the government who prohibited care that would have ended up being beneficial. In a country where we seem to be allergic to government overreach, I can't really think of anything more invasive than them stepping between consenting people and their physicians.
I also wonder where you came to the conclusion that "generally they are not performed by the most qualified plastic surgeons" because anytime I've seen a shirtless trans man, they've looked great. "Horrific" and "mutilated" might be coming from your gut reaction more than their experience. Even if there were a problem with some surgeons being generally bad at their job, which I don't see evidence of, I don't see that as a reason to ban the procedure for everyone. It seems like you're saying we need to make the procedure less stigmatized so that even our best surgeons are assisting.
And this is where puberty blockers are a useful tool. If people don't grow breasts in the first place, no surgery would be necessary.
I'm genuinely glad you have the ability to work with your child and their medical team to make the choice that's right for your child. That choice should be available to all parents. While I can hear and feel sorry for your pain in dealing with pushback from the trans activist community, I hope you can also understand that accusing parents of "genital mutilation and sterilization" is equally as painful and accusatory. All parents are just doing their best to do right by their child in a world that is not generally accepting of differences. You ought to be able to extend the same empathy to them as you hope to receive.
I was being frank.
You just composed the most sensible post on this thread! It is an agenda and it is so sad to watch. The hypocrisy of those for children receiving “transitional” procedures and Rx are also the ones (for the most part) that have no problem with abortions being performed on the unborn. I don’t understand the rationale.
I am sad that you think my trans daughter is an agenda.
And I am truly sad for you and your daughter and it is my prayer that anyone in the same position would find healing. My concern with the case currently before SCOTUS lies in allowing young people whose brains are not even fully developed to make life-altering and often irreversible decisions to their bodies. While there are those in the medical field that will agree with and perform such procedures, it still doesn’t make it the right thing to do. We only need to look back to the 1950-60 era and how some in the profession performed lobotomies. It is my fear history could repeat if SCOTUS doesn’t do the correct thing.
Would you be open to puberty blockers in youth (which is reversible) as long as surgeries were not performed?
I am not in agreement with any procedures or blockers or hormones given to underage persons (children). I invite you to listen to Allie B Stuckley’s recent interview with Jamie Reed. It can be found on YouTube or her Podcast Relatable episode #1109. I agree with Allie and Jamie that much of what is being done in the name of “care” to these young people is actually criminal and solely for profit.
Do you know any trans people?
Do you care about any trans people?
Do you love any trans people?
I
You are a wise mom.
My neighbor of 20 years is trans. Last night I knocked on her door to give her a hug. I just knew she needed it. She about collapsed in my arms while sobbing. Trans people will ALWAYS have a safe place with me regardless of what misguided hate comes out of our government buildings.
Reading this article and these comments is making my stomach turn. It’s heartbreaking what our elected officials are doing to the trans community. Creating enemies out human beings who deserve to live their lives freely. The government needs to stay out of the way of our personal decisions and the Supreme Court has no business making medical decisions they don’t understand. My heart goes out to everyone impacted.