I feel like before I started following politics and world events, I was 2 (optimism). Becoming more aware I developed a healthy 3 (skepticism). But since this last election I fear I am nose-diving into 1 (cynicism) and struggling to get out/back/better.
Recovered cynic here. In my college years, I used it as a shield in a world that I felt was too complex to understand. Everyone else seemed to be either “sheep” who don’t examine the world critically, or they seemed way smarter than me and it was intimidating. Feeling like I was smarter than everyone was nice, and I would dwell on subjects where I could feel superior without doing any work. Feeling like I was dumber than everyone was scary. But if people could see how cynical I was, maybe they would think I was smart for having such negative opinions. It took many years and many patient friends to help me realize that hope isn’t necessarily naive, and I now operate with a presumption that there is a solution to the world’s problems before writing anything off. And it helps not caring so much about what people think about me. It’s not only better for my health, but I bet if you’d ask the people around me they would vote for the hopeful version of me too. 🙂 Thank you for sharing this, Sharon! It’s a great conversation to have right now.
Timothy, I can relate a lot to this share. I hate feeling dumb. Feeling smart, for me, is a shield against a very scary world. I appreciate your vulnerability here.
I want to be an optimist but I think I have become an optimistic skeptic. When I fall into cynicism it feels hopeless and I can’t stay there long. This is why your work helps so much! The news drags me to cynicism but learning leads me back to skepticism, and once in a while, to a glimpse of optimism when I am reminded I am not alone. Thank you for all your hard work!
I’m definitely a skeptic who can lean toward cynicism on some issues. Optimism is not natural for me.
While some people might think you lean a little too heavy on the optimism and hope side, I truly appreciate it because it’s something I have to work towards. It’s not easy for me.
I tend to call myself a realist, but maybe skeptic is a better description. I can hope for a good outcome, but I’m going to prepare myself for the worst, and the good has to be proven, it’s rarely assumed.
My husband calls himself a realist as well but he often assumes a negative outcome before we know how things will turn out. It frustrates me. This post helps me evaluate both of us.
Thanks so much for this, Sharon. You’re helping me find ways to articulate conversations I’m trying to have with my teenage son. He’s deeply interested in global politics, and has a keen eye for justice. There really *are* so many awful things being carried out right now, but immersing ourselves, and especially teens, in that news cycle can easily lead to cynicism, isolation, and despair. I’m trying to find ways to encourage him to take compassionate action locally - and to be mindful of what he consumes with his eyes and ears without sounding like I’m encouraging ignorance of reality. I’ll take a listen to the podcast as well.
My cynic-leaning twenty-something has decided that he wants to leave the US. I can't fault him, but I would really like to find a way to encourage him to stay. College campuses have become so frought, no matter which side you're on. I am a truster/optimist by nature, but I feel like sometimes I wear blinders to stay that way, and his environment encourages whatever the opposite of rose-colored glasses are. Thanks for sharing!
I am naturally prone to skepticism. I find that cynical people, people who hold grudges, etc., really drain my emotional energy. I maintain hope in many things, but feel I am not so naive that I don't question information I hear. I find myself most skeptical of sources in the media I'm not familiar with as well of many sources on social media. I love to learn, but I want to learn correct information, not fake info.
One place I found myself in - briefly - was contempt. It feels a bit like a cousin to cynicism. It mutes grief and disappointment - and anger, which is really just curdled fear. But, I found my way out of it pretty quickly.
And maybe one of the reasons I didn’t stay there long is because of skepticism. If I assume that people disagree with me for the worst reasons, and I’m not skeptical of my own assumptions and biases, then I’m not going to learn anything. While some people do have the worst reasons for believing what they do, and it’s good to have boundaries, it helps me when I remember that humans can be multilayered, contradictory, and complicated.
I like your description of contempt. And the idea of anger as curdled fear, I think is a great picture (also kind of gross, but it works well). Would you unpack that idea a bit - anger as curdled fear, that is? Emotions having layers sometimes feels just out of reach for me.
I used to be somewhere between a 2 and a 3 and then when DT was elected the first time, I can see that I’ve slowly turned into a 1. This was a necessary read for me to realize it, so thank you for writing about it!!
I know I used to be very much an optimist and believed the world would get better especially if I worked for that. I worked in child welfare for over forty years. I learned to be pragmatic. I also learned that evil is real. Institutions and corporations can create environments where ugly people can thrive. There were also folks working and volunteering within child welfare who did amazingly good work in unbelievably harsh conditions. I have continued to volunteer in my retirement and done what I can to help those who are homeless and to keep folks from becoming homeless. The work has kept my optimism alive as there is no end point to human kindness. This election has been a body blow to my hope for those I am trying to help. I fear this will be a terrible time for my country. And yet- heroes in my community continue to get up everyday and serve and remain kind. I don’t know if that is cynicism but the heroes still exist and will still strive for better. That gives me optimism.
I am a naturally optimistic person who has developed more skeptical thinking skills with time and age. Being able to communicate from a more skeptical/pragmatic approach has helped me to build common ground with the cynics that I know (and love dearly ❤️).
Dove right into this read. I feel I am naturally prone to an optimistic view. I shun doom and gloom narratives. I just can't go there. So I would naturally choose hope. But more than that, I have always leaned toward trusting in the universe; the higher up, the soul beings out there, all of it combined and way beyond our comprehension. In my mind and heart, I have always felt the "bigger picture" was where the truth lies, i.e., the right and best outcome (positive result). Sorry, if these words make absolutely no sense, but it's something I feel in my gut. Just sharing lol.
I have always been very inspired by and honestly quite envious of those who can lean into trusting the universe, our higher ups and our collective energy. When I trust in a bigger picture I do feel peace, and then that darn skepticism gets in the way making me wonder if I’m just employing wishful thinking. I let fear and anxiety get in my way. I’m working on it.
You did another great job here, Sharon. I live with a cynic who is convinced that I don’t share his views because I am “not informed”. The reality is that I lean more toward skepticism. A friend once complained that I am a “tweener” because I’m always in the middle. But that isn’t really true. I just try to stay there when possible until I gather enough info to move one way or another. It is getting harder and harder, though, to not fall into cynicism when you feel like you have to question everything. It’s exhausting.
I feel like before I started following politics and world events, I was 2 (optimism). Becoming more aware I developed a healthy 3 (skepticism). But since this last election I fear I am nose-diving into 1 (cynicism) and struggling to get out/back/better.
I get it. I also feel scared. Not quite cynical, but afraid for what may come.
Recovered cynic here. In my college years, I used it as a shield in a world that I felt was too complex to understand. Everyone else seemed to be either “sheep” who don’t examine the world critically, or they seemed way smarter than me and it was intimidating. Feeling like I was smarter than everyone was nice, and I would dwell on subjects where I could feel superior without doing any work. Feeling like I was dumber than everyone was scary. But if people could see how cynical I was, maybe they would think I was smart for having such negative opinions. It took many years and many patient friends to help me realize that hope isn’t necessarily naive, and I now operate with a presumption that there is a solution to the world’s problems before writing anything off. And it helps not caring so much about what people think about me. It’s not only better for my health, but I bet if you’d ask the people around me they would vote for the hopeful version of me too. 🙂 Thank you for sharing this, Sharon! It’s a great conversation to have right now.
Timothy, I can relate a lot to this share. I hate feeling dumb. Feeling smart, for me, is a shield against a very scary world. I appreciate your vulnerability here.
Wow - I did not realize that my almost ferocious desire to be "right" came from a place of fear. Thank you for that!
Skeptic (realist) trending toward optimist (I can change what I cannot accept). I always say, “if it’s a man-made problem, a woman can fix it.”
My nature is to be an optimist but I have learned over the last eight years to be skeptical. Helps me determine what is likely true versus fake news
Me, too!
Same for me!
I want to be an optimist but I think I have become an optimistic skeptic. When I fall into cynicism it feels hopeless and I can’t stay there long. This is why your work helps so much! The news drags me to cynicism but learning leads me back to skepticism, and once in a while, to a glimpse of optimism when I am reminded I am not alone. Thank you for all your hard work!
I’m definitely a skeptic who can lean toward cynicism on some issues. Optimism is not natural for me.
While some people might think you lean a little too heavy on the optimism and hope side, I truly appreciate it because it’s something I have to work towards. It’s not easy for me.
I tend to call myself a realist, but maybe skeptic is a better description. I can hope for a good outcome, but I’m going to prepare myself for the worst, and the good has to be proven, it’s rarely assumed.
My husband calls himself a realist as well but he often assumes a negative outcome before we know how things will turn out. It frustrates me. This post helps me evaluate both of us.
Thanks so much for this, Sharon. You’re helping me find ways to articulate conversations I’m trying to have with my teenage son. He’s deeply interested in global politics, and has a keen eye for justice. There really *are* so many awful things being carried out right now, but immersing ourselves, and especially teens, in that news cycle can easily lead to cynicism, isolation, and despair. I’m trying to find ways to encourage him to take compassionate action locally - and to be mindful of what he consumes with his eyes and ears without sounding like I’m encouraging ignorance of reality. I’ll take a listen to the podcast as well.
This reminds me of what Mr. Rogers’ mother told him when he was a boy about disasters, “always look for the helpers.”
My cynic-leaning twenty-something has decided that he wants to leave the US. I can't fault him, but I would really like to find a way to encourage him to stay. College campuses have become so frought, no matter which side you're on. I am a truster/optimist by nature, but I feel like sometimes I wear blinders to stay that way, and his environment encourages whatever the opposite of rose-colored glasses are. Thanks for sharing!
I am naturally prone to skepticism. I find that cynical people, people who hold grudges, etc., really drain my emotional energy. I maintain hope in many things, but feel I am not so naive that I don't question information I hear. I find myself most skeptical of sources in the media I'm not familiar with as well of many sources on social media. I love to learn, but I want to learn correct information, not fake info.
One place I found myself in - briefly - was contempt. It feels a bit like a cousin to cynicism. It mutes grief and disappointment - and anger, which is really just curdled fear. But, I found my way out of it pretty quickly.
And maybe one of the reasons I didn’t stay there long is because of skepticism. If I assume that people disagree with me for the worst reasons, and I’m not skeptical of my own assumptions and biases, then I’m not going to learn anything. While some people do have the worst reasons for believing what they do, and it’s good to have boundaries, it helps me when I remember that humans can be multilayered, contradictory, and complicated.
I like your description of contempt. And the idea of anger as curdled fear, I think is a great picture (also kind of gross, but it works well). Would you unpack that idea a bit - anger as curdled fear, that is? Emotions having layers sometimes feels just out of reach for me.
I consider myself to be an optimistic skeptic; I question and investigate, not taking things at face value, but with a hopeful attitude.
I used to be somewhere between a 2 and a 3 and then when DT was elected the first time, I can see that I’ve slowly turned into a 1. This was a necessary read for me to realize it, so thank you for writing about it!!
I know I used to be very much an optimist and believed the world would get better especially if I worked for that. I worked in child welfare for over forty years. I learned to be pragmatic. I also learned that evil is real. Institutions and corporations can create environments where ugly people can thrive. There were also folks working and volunteering within child welfare who did amazingly good work in unbelievably harsh conditions. I have continued to volunteer in my retirement and done what I can to help those who are homeless and to keep folks from becoming homeless. The work has kept my optimism alive as there is no end point to human kindness. This election has been a body blow to my hope for those I am trying to help. I fear this will be a terrible time for my country. And yet- heroes in my community continue to get up everyday and serve and remain kind. I don’t know if that is cynicism but the heroes still exist and will still strive for better. That gives me optimism.
I am a naturally optimistic person who has developed more skeptical thinking skills with time and age. Being able to communicate from a more skeptical/pragmatic approach has helped me to build common ground with the cynics that I know (and love dearly ❤️).
Somewhere between 2 and 3. I have moments of optimism but can lean towards skepticism at times so I can't say I'm more of one than the other.
Dove right into this read. I feel I am naturally prone to an optimistic view. I shun doom and gloom narratives. I just can't go there. So I would naturally choose hope. But more than that, I have always leaned toward trusting in the universe; the higher up, the soul beings out there, all of it combined and way beyond our comprehension. In my mind and heart, I have always felt the "bigger picture" was where the truth lies, i.e., the right and best outcome (positive result). Sorry, if these words make absolutely no sense, but it's something I feel in my gut. Just sharing lol.
Yay! Good for you. Me too. We'll said.
I have always been very inspired by and honestly quite envious of those who can lean into trusting the universe, our higher ups and our collective energy. When I trust in a bigger picture I do feel peace, and then that darn skepticism gets in the way making me wonder if I’m just employing wishful thinking. I let fear and anxiety get in my way. I’m working on it.
You did another great job here, Sharon. I live with a cynic who is convinced that I don’t share his views because I am “not informed”. The reality is that I lean more toward skepticism. A friend once complained that I am a “tweener” because I’m always in the middle. But that isn’t really true. I just try to stay there when possible until I gather enough info to move one way or another. It is getting harder and harder, though, to not fall into cynicism when you feel like you have to question everything. It’s exhausting.