After this past week, I’ve decided to drastically cut back my time on social media. I no longer want to participate in this anxiety and rage producing machine!
I took FB, instagram and threads off my phone yesterdays because I was noticing it was too much. I then took my dog on a 5 mile walk. (To which I started talking to a woman who was shocked to hear I’m a liberal bc “you’re so nice and liberals are all hateful”.) I felt the pull to open instagram up a lot yesterday but held steady. I obviously need the detox.
Thanks for sharing this Leighanna and kudos to you for choosing replacing social media time with a walk! Your post is sticking with me - the woman who says that she views all liberals to be hateful. This shocks me because I’d say the opposite! I would call Republicans hateful. This is just reinforcing to me that more face to face conversation is needed and the media is just trying to get clicks by making us angry at each other.
I feel the same way Darcy. And I told her that actually. I can’t stop thinking about it either. I am not a writer but I’m thinking about writing something out just for catharsis and to work through my feelings. It was a long conversation and it came up through part of that conversation. It really is shocking how she said it and that she even felt she could say that to me. It was a very friendly conversation and she didn’t say it with anger or mean spirits.. which almost makes it worse? She just really thinks all liberals are mean and hateful.
“The more desensitized to an issue we are, the less likely we are to take action to combat it” ? Um, haven’t we been there now for years? A school shooting happens and Americans barely raise an eyebrow…for more than a day anyway. Wasn’t the tide turned on public opinion on Vietnam once the media started showing the real atrocities of what was really happening? What will it take now?
I was just about to make the same comment about the Vietnam coverage. I honestly don’t know what to think about the images from this last week. Someone very close to me saw the footage, without warning, and I think is experiencing PTSD symptoms. Maybe this reaction from a lot of is THE thing that will move the needle on social media usage/social media silos/people reaching out to their community? I have just felt prompted to deliver some goodies to people in my life that are on the opposite side of the political spectrum from me. We can’t dehumanize the other “side” any longer.
I responded to a commenter who was volunteering to be a part of the shooting squad for Kirk’s murderer, wondering whether that doesn’t just further the political violence we’ve all been appalled at this week. He stated that anyone who kills and forces people to watch it live should be dead. When I told him Robinson, as appalling as his actions were, shouldn’t be held responsible for the millions who watched the footage, he responded that I was stupid, low IQ, etc. 🤷🏼♀️
You know who absolutely SHOULD be held responsible for that footage? Social media companies. Algorithms that push this info. Individuals who share violent videos. We’re a sick nation. We need to stop splashing around in our own muck.
I accidentally saw the video before I knew it was out there and it was really hard to not think about it for a few days. Now I’m seeing all my conservative family members post things that are so gross and disgusting and hateful and calling us violent. It’s really really sad. The liberals I know are posting about toning down the violence.
Did you see it via reels? I've been trying to figure out how so many people unwittingly saw the video. I've never seen anything violent on my social media, and certainly nothing like that has ever been served up to me without me clicking on it (which I don't). I watch stories and read posts on Instagram but don't scroll reels. Is it the autoplay feature plus algorithm of reels that would do that to people? It's just awful that so many people saw that. I'm so sorry. :(
My husband saw it unedited on Facebook. I have heard others saw it on TikTok. I'm sure that depending on how you use instagram you might see it there too.
I saw it on Threads unedited. It shocked me. Now I think of all the kids who have gone through a school shooting. I don’t understand how we continue to let this happen.
I clicked on an X link and wondered right into it. I have deleted all my Tweets, but I work at an agency and do social media for a living. I have to keep the app. It is vile.
I haven’t seen the video of Charlie Kirk’s assassination. I left FB in 2017 after the first Trump election turned it almost exclusively into people arguing over politics and sharing misinformation. Then, in January of this year I got off Instagram. I’m still grieving over the tragedies in the world and the shift in humanity’s collective conscious, but I’ve noticed that I’m much less anxious than people on social media. I do not miss it (mostly)— I miss seeing people’s pics of their life, travels, and book recommendations, but I don’t miss the time suck, the rabbit holes, the misinformation, the click bait, the targeted ads, and the feeling that I was always being manipulated in some way. Recently read Careless People about FB executive leadership and was so disgusted. I was glad I had already decided to leave. I get my news from news sources and socialize the traditional way (or with Marco Polo!). Life is better.
It’s so true. I’ve been much happier since the beginning of the summer when I removed social media from my life. I hardly ever even come here, I read the emails from the authors I have emailed to me and that’s it. It’s been freeing.
In our ladies Sunday School class we were challenged to take a full break from social media for a week, beginning at midnight last night. In service our pastor encouraged us to take a social media fast too. Just before midnight I logged out of all social media accounts. Today I found myself clicking on the apps dozens of times only to stop because I had logged out. I was shocked at the amount of times and how I have been so unaware of that!
When the week break is up I am going to use the tools in this expensive device to set downtime from the apps and set time limits for each before I log back in. My screen time was in excess of 9hrs a day and about 95% was social media 😬.
I deleted Instagram off my phone last week. I checked in on my laptop over the weekend and that was enough. It isn’t designed for a desktop experience so it was easier to log off once I had checked some messages or checked in on some accounts I follow. And it’s not in my pocket for me to absently check throughout the day. There is a tension between not exposing your mind to all of this anxiety and trauma and also not looking away at the terrible events of the world. I’m not pretending all of that has disappeared just because I’m not accessing it constantly. I am able to engage in a different, and I will say more productive, way. I’m still figuring out the best way to stay informed and support artists and journalism and friend’s businesses and ventures. But it has been a welcome change to the rhythm of my day.
Both of my sons, ages 21 and 24, accidentally saw it. Both of them have been deeply affected by what they saw. While I agree that social platforms need to do a MUCH better job of blocking this type of content, I feel like there also need to be serious consequences for those who post it, too. If Sharon can be put in IG timeout for calling her dog, Molly, by name because that also happens to be the nickname for an illegal substance, surely something can be done about those who post video footage of a violent murder!
I, too, deleted Instagram from my phone this weekend and feel a weight lifted. I’m glad I subscribe to the Substacks I do (like this one) so that I can continue to engage with people I have come to trust. It seems there has been an exodus after this week with the extra vitriol. I do think engaging in real life is the antidote.
I've been thinking a lot about this. Desensitization is real, but I also wonder about the cost of not seeing these things. When we don't see what's really happening with our own eyes, it becomes just another headline, and the headlines, to me, can be quite desensitizing. I think that having to see it makes it sink in just how bad it really is, and my hope is that we will live with that scene not to the extent that it traumatizes us, but to the extent that we will consider it next time we are tempted to write a nasty comment online- next time we are considering if we are too busy to help our neighbor- next time we are tempted to stay silent in the face of wrongdoing. Now, we were never meant to carry the weight of the entire world's graphic images and videos on our shoulders, I get that. It's complicated, for sure. But the weightiness and utter gravity of these situations is something that I think should be deeply felt, at least for a short time. Now, how do we keep from doom scrolling after the fact? That, I can't say. It's a deeply personal choice where to draw that line and requires a fair amount of self restraint and awareness, and I fear most of us don't have a great grip on that.
I understand the impact you are describing. It pre-dates the internet. As I was reading your comment, an haunting image re-appeared in my head. One I’ve carried since I grew up in the ‘70’s. A naked crying napalmed little girl running away from her burning bombed village.
I hope seeing that, carrying that, made me a better person.
I think it depends on the person exposed to the image.
Obviously, the key is empathy. And we all know how some people feel about that.
Is there more we can do than just limit time on these apps? I feel like reaching out to our members of Congress and voting for tech-savvy government leaders who can regulate these apps is another step we can take. Silicon Valley is able to do whatever it wants with few repercussions. I think it's time to start advocating to change that.
I still have social media, but have used Sharon’s method of “tricking” the algorithm. I search for flowers, garden, nature, camping. It’s not perfect, but I’m not seeing as much doom & gloom.
My adult daughter saw the video on TikTok. She told me it was awful and that I should make certain not to view it. I'm grateful for her warning, and I'm very sad that those terrible images have been seen by so many - especially by young people. 😢
I want social media companies to be held responsible for their part in where we are today. I stopped reading comments because they can be truly awful. I can hold many truths and also not say terrible things about others, not wish terrible things to happen to others. Some of the worst comments I saw were about what should happen to the assassin's family. It left me thinking that they were fueling and spreading the same rage that he tapped into on social media. I'm commenting on a social media post while about to say that I'm not commenting. But I'm being careful where I comment. I can read something from someone and tell if it's going to end with nothing good. And if that person is not someone I see or know I just remind myself not everyone can be reached. I did have some great conversations this weekend and I am glad for that. We are not as far away as we think from most people. Social media would have us all think we are all in extreme corners and that is just not true. I did learn that my personal social media is very sheltered maybe is the word? I was also reminded how many people use social media less than me. I don't talk consistently to many Evangelical Christians and of the people I talked to only one had heard of Kirk. All had heard about his assassination. Thankfully only one had seen the video. One of the people I talked to was discussing 9/11 with me. We were in college together at the time and we discussed what at the time was the worst thing we had seen on tv and the 'internet' prior to social media. How that changed us, the news cycle, the way we talk about others.
After this past week, I’ve decided to drastically cut back my time on social media. I no longer want to participate in this anxiety and rage producing machine!
I took FB, instagram and threads off my phone yesterdays because I was noticing it was too much. I then took my dog on a 5 mile walk. (To which I started talking to a woman who was shocked to hear I’m a liberal bc “you’re so nice and liberals are all hateful”.) I felt the pull to open instagram up a lot yesterday but held steady. I obviously need the detox.
Thanks for sharing this Leighanna and kudos to you for choosing replacing social media time with a walk! Your post is sticking with me - the woman who says that she views all liberals to be hateful. This shocks me because I’d say the opposite! I would call Republicans hateful. This is just reinforcing to me that more face to face conversation is needed and the media is just trying to get clicks by making us angry at each other.
I feel the same way Darcy. And I told her that actually. I can’t stop thinking about it either. I am not a writer but I’m thinking about writing something out just for catharsis and to work through my feelings. It was a long conversation and it came up through part of that conversation. It really is shocking how she said it and that she even felt she could say that to me. It was a very friendly conversation and she didn’t say it with anger or mean spirits.. which almost makes it worse? She just really thinks all liberals are mean and hateful.
Very shocking. And so interesting. Thank you again for sharing! This motivates me to continue having conversations whenever I can.
Good for you! Stay strong!
“The more desensitized to an issue we are, the less likely we are to take action to combat it” ? Um, haven’t we been there now for years? A school shooting happens and Americans barely raise an eyebrow…for more than a day anyway. Wasn’t the tide turned on public opinion on Vietnam once the media started showing the real atrocities of what was really happening? What will it take now?
I was just about to make the same comment about the Vietnam coverage. I honestly don’t know what to think about the images from this last week. Someone very close to me saw the footage, without warning, and I think is experiencing PTSD symptoms. Maybe this reaction from a lot of is THE thing that will move the needle on social media usage/social media silos/people reaching out to their community? I have just felt prompted to deliver some goodies to people in my life that are on the opposite side of the political spectrum from me. We can’t dehumanize the other “side” any longer.
I responded to a commenter who was volunteering to be a part of the shooting squad for Kirk’s murderer, wondering whether that doesn’t just further the political violence we’ve all been appalled at this week. He stated that anyone who kills and forces people to watch it live should be dead. When I told him Robinson, as appalling as his actions were, shouldn’t be held responsible for the millions who watched the footage, he responded that I was stupid, low IQ, etc. 🤷🏼♀️
You know who absolutely SHOULD be held responsible for that footage? Social media companies. Algorithms that push this info. Individuals who share violent videos. We’re a sick nation. We need to stop splashing around in our own muck.
I accidentally saw the video before I knew it was out there and it was really hard to not think about it for a few days. Now I’m seeing all my conservative family members post things that are so gross and disgusting and hateful and calling us violent. It’s really really sad. The liberals I know are posting about toning down the violence.
Did you see it via reels? I've been trying to figure out how so many people unwittingly saw the video. I've never seen anything violent on my social media, and certainly nothing like that has ever been served up to me without me clicking on it (which I don't). I watch stories and read posts on Instagram but don't scroll reels. Is it the autoplay feature plus algorithm of reels that would do that to people? It's just awful that so many people saw that. I'm so sorry. :(
Stories, which was probably a reel
My husband saw it unedited on Facebook. I have heard others saw it on TikTok. I'm sure that depending on how you use instagram you might see it there too.
I saw it on Threads unedited. It shocked me. Now I think of all the kids who have gone through a school shooting. I don’t understand how we continue to let this happen.
I clicked on an X link and wondered right into it. I have deleted all my Tweets, but I work at an agency and do social media for a living. I have to keep the app. It is vile.
Ashley, thank you for your brilliant last line.
“We need to stop splashing around in our own muck.”
Social media doesn’t make the content. We do. It’s a mirror. You know how the rest of that goes.
The hate is already there. It always has been.
I haven’t seen the video of Charlie Kirk’s assassination. I left FB in 2017 after the first Trump election turned it almost exclusively into people arguing over politics and sharing misinformation. Then, in January of this year I got off Instagram. I’m still grieving over the tragedies in the world and the shift in humanity’s collective conscious, but I’ve noticed that I’m much less anxious than people on social media. I do not miss it (mostly)— I miss seeing people’s pics of their life, travels, and book recommendations, but I don’t miss the time suck, the rabbit holes, the misinformation, the click bait, the targeted ads, and the feeling that I was always being manipulated in some way. Recently read Careless People about FB executive leadership and was so disgusted. I was glad I had already decided to leave. I get my news from news sources and socialize the traditional way (or with Marco Polo!). Life is better.
It’s so true. I’ve been much happier since the beginning of the summer when I removed social media from my life. I hardly ever even come here, I read the emails from the authors I have emailed to me and that’s it. It’s been freeing.
In our ladies Sunday School class we were challenged to take a full break from social media for a week, beginning at midnight last night. In service our pastor encouraged us to take a social media fast too. Just before midnight I logged out of all social media accounts. Today I found myself clicking on the apps dozens of times only to stop because I had logged out. I was shocked at the amount of times and how I have been so unaware of that!
When the week break is up I am going to use the tools in this expensive device to set downtime from the apps and set time limits for each before I log back in. My screen time was in excess of 9hrs a day and about 95% was social media 😬.
I deleted Instagram off my phone last week. I checked in on my laptop over the weekend and that was enough. It isn’t designed for a desktop experience so it was easier to log off once I had checked some messages or checked in on some accounts I follow. And it’s not in my pocket for me to absently check throughout the day. There is a tension between not exposing your mind to all of this anxiety and trauma and also not looking away at the terrible events of the world. I’m not pretending all of that has disappeared just because I’m not accessing it constantly. I am able to engage in a different, and I will say more productive, way. I’m still figuring out the best way to stay informed and support artists and journalism and friend’s businesses and ventures. But it has been a welcome change to the rhythm of my day.
I am fortunate (not on X) that I have not seen the Kirk video, nor do I ever want to. I’m really trying to mindful on what I consume on SM and TV.
Both of my sons, ages 21 and 24, accidentally saw it. Both of them have been deeply affected by what they saw. While I agree that social platforms need to do a MUCH better job of blocking this type of content, I feel like there also need to be serious consequences for those who post it, too. If Sharon can be put in IG timeout for calling her dog, Molly, by name because that also happens to be the nickname for an illegal substance, surely something can be done about those who post video footage of a violent murder!
I, too, deleted Instagram from my phone this weekend and feel a weight lifted. I’m glad I subscribe to the Substacks I do (like this one) so that I can continue to engage with people I have come to trust. It seems there has been an exodus after this week with the extra vitriol. I do think engaging in real life is the antidote.
It’s not JUST social media. Cable “news” has been a big problem for years, feeding the partisan hate and stoking fear and anxiety.
I've been thinking a lot about this. Desensitization is real, but I also wonder about the cost of not seeing these things. When we don't see what's really happening with our own eyes, it becomes just another headline, and the headlines, to me, can be quite desensitizing. I think that having to see it makes it sink in just how bad it really is, and my hope is that we will live with that scene not to the extent that it traumatizes us, but to the extent that we will consider it next time we are tempted to write a nasty comment online- next time we are considering if we are too busy to help our neighbor- next time we are tempted to stay silent in the face of wrongdoing. Now, we were never meant to carry the weight of the entire world's graphic images and videos on our shoulders, I get that. It's complicated, for sure. But the weightiness and utter gravity of these situations is something that I think should be deeply felt, at least for a short time. Now, how do we keep from doom scrolling after the fact? That, I can't say. It's a deeply personal choice where to draw that line and requires a fair amount of self restraint and awareness, and I fear most of us don't have a great grip on that.
I understand the impact you are describing. It pre-dates the internet. As I was reading your comment, an haunting image re-appeared in my head. One I’ve carried since I grew up in the ‘70’s. A naked crying napalmed little girl running away from her burning bombed village.
I hope seeing that, carrying that, made me a better person.
I think it depends on the person exposed to the image.
Obviously, the key is empathy. And we all know how some people feel about that.
Is there more we can do than just limit time on these apps? I feel like reaching out to our members of Congress and voting for tech-savvy government leaders who can regulate these apps is another step we can take. Silicon Valley is able to do whatever it wants with few repercussions. I think it's time to start advocating to change that.
I still have social media, but have used Sharon’s method of “tricking” the algorithm. I search for flowers, garden, nature, camping. It’s not perfect, but I’m not seeing as much doom & gloom.
My adult daughter saw the video on TikTok. She told me it was awful and that I should make certain not to view it. I'm grateful for her warning, and I'm very sad that those terrible images have been seen by so many - especially by young people. 😢
I want social media companies to be held responsible for their part in where we are today. I stopped reading comments because they can be truly awful. I can hold many truths and also not say terrible things about others, not wish terrible things to happen to others. Some of the worst comments I saw were about what should happen to the assassin's family. It left me thinking that they were fueling and spreading the same rage that he tapped into on social media. I'm commenting on a social media post while about to say that I'm not commenting. But I'm being careful where I comment. I can read something from someone and tell if it's going to end with nothing good. And if that person is not someone I see or know I just remind myself not everyone can be reached. I did have some great conversations this weekend and I am glad for that. We are not as far away as we think from most people. Social media would have us all think we are all in extreme corners and that is just not true. I did learn that my personal social media is very sheltered maybe is the word? I was also reminded how many people use social media less than me. I don't talk consistently to many Evangelical Christians and of the people I talked to only one had heard of Kirk. All had heard about his assassination. Thankfully only one had seen the video. One of the people I talked to was discussing 9/11 with me. We were in college together at the time and we discussed what at the time was the worst thing we had seen on tv and the 'internet' prior to social media. How that changed us, the news cycle, the way we talk about others.