Our Final Reader Q&A Before the Election
Let’s just jump right into your questions this week:
1. I cannot get my head around why this is going to be such a close vote for President. I am feeling panic and fear.
I won’t mince words: this election is very consequential. Americans are casting their ballots for the kind of future they want to see. And chances are quite good that no matter where you fall on the ideological spectrum, you have some big concerns about where next week will take us.
Rather than try and pat you on the head and tell you everything is going to be just fine, let me offer a reframe: whatever level of panic and fear you feel about _____ candidate, people voting for them feel the same about the person you prefer.
And often, we are just plain wrong about people.
For example: if you are strongly against abortion, you might perceive that people who are pro-choice think it’s “no big deal to murder babies,” or that women frequently have abortions based on convenience and the fact that they “just don’t want to be moms.”
Those are your beliefs about why someone believes what they do, not theirs. In fact, you’d be hard pressed to find a person who is pro-choice who thinks abortions are anything but a heartbreaking and difficult choice.
And the converse is also true: many people who are pro-choice believe people who don’t think abortion should be legal are operating out of a sense of wanting to control women’s bodies and trying to impose their religious beliefs on others. When in reality, they would often tell you that that is *not* their motivation.
It’s our perceptions about the motivations of others that are usually faulty, because we only see things the way we see them.
Chances are quite good the same is true about the upcoming election. If you’re a Harris voter, you probably have very strong feelings about Trump, and assumptions about the people who are voting for him that may or may not be true. And the same can be said for Trump voters – your perception of Harris voters is probably wrong.
This is not me offering you rose colored glasses and telling you that “all choices are good choices.” I am simply encouraging you to reframe how you view this issue: that the people who are voting for a candidate you don’t like have beliefs that make absolute sense to them, even if you don't share them.
After next week, are still going to have to live together in this flawed union that we are trying to hone into one that is more perfect. And one of the best ways to begin bridging that divide is to start to try to understand why a choice that seems truly terrible in your mind is one that others are excited to make.
Listening to understand doesn’t obligate you to agree. But it will teach you something.