"It's Just a Matter of Time"
A Canadian living in the US wonders when they'll be asked to leave
I am a Canadian citizen living in the US. I have my permanent resident card. I never became a citizen for a multitude of reasons. I have been here since 1997, when my parents moved us for my father’s job. I went to high school, college, and graduate school in the US. I am married to a US citizen and have four children. My entire employment history is in the US. Lucky for me, I’m also white with a very American last name. My accent has adjusted, so you can tell I’m not from here only from the occasional “ou” sound.
But I am still scared. I have always been outspoken: posting my opinions freely on social media and in text conversations, voicing my opinion in social gatherings, etc. Now the fear of the potential repercussions has quieted me, though I’m ashamed to admit it. I don’t post. I don’t share. I don’t even like or comment. I delete political messages people send me. I voice my opinion in the company of trusted friends only.
Silently I rage at the way things are falling apart and innocent people are targeted. I am full of shame about how easy it has been to silence me. But every time I think about raising my voice again, I think, Can they see what I do? Are they watching? Will all noncitizens be next? Will someone show up at my door or rip me away from my kids at the grocery store?
It feels like it’s just a matter of time. I keep waiting for someone to say: “Leave now.”
—Name withheld for privacy
I get it! As a “brown” person I try not to be fearful even though I was born here and so were my parents and grandparents. I try not to get overwhelmed with the daily news and step away when I can. But I also need to know what’s going on - just in case, right? Take care ❤️
I’m so sorry that you have such fears of living a normal life. I see it happening to people in the Los Angeles area and it breaks my heart. I think our present government has lost sight of what it is like to live in America. They are bulldozing their way through every facet of your life and our lives. I have not lost hope yet and hope not to. There have been times when the Constitution and common sense have prevailed. I hope this is one of them.